Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 12 of 12

December 2, 2014 Taxol/Herceptin 12 of 12        LAST OF THE TAXOL

What an exciting week, my LAST TAXOL TREATMENT!!!!!!  I didn't have blood work the day before like I usually did, so I was a little nervous they might tell me I couldn't have treatment.  My cousin Rhonda came with me for my treatment.  We had to be there at 11, so of course we stopped and picked up our subs and got ready for a long, but exciting day.

When we got to the clinic I walked in the room to a beautiful bouquet of flowers and balloons.  It was so sweet of Rhonda, I had tears in my eyes.  My usual nurses were at the Waukesha clinic, but Julie who had given me my AC treatments was working and able to give my my last round of the taxol.  Blood work was taken first, and then we waited, and waited for them to say everything was good so we could start all the pre-meds.  Good thing Rhonda and I have so much we can talk about:)  I had to spell my last name and state my birthday a zillion times for each of the medications they gave me.  As soon as the benadryl and lorazapam came it was lights out.  The taxol treatment took 60 minutes.   It took 90 minutes for the herceptin, since I wouldn't be back for another couple of weeks they gave me a bigger dose.

Towards the end of treatment I started waking up again and tried to get my barrings back.  We were now moving into celebration mode.  The nurses have been so wonderful to me and really made things as easy as they could.  They knew exactly what I needed, the order we did things, and were just amazing people.  Rhonda brought in some sparkling grape juice for us to toast with at the end.  The nurses all came in and joined us, and gave me a special certificate saying that I've completed my chemo treatments.  It brought tears to my eyes as I read what the nurses wrote.


Many things were going through my mind with this being the last of my taxol treatments.  First off, did 5 months of my life really just pass by.  Secondly, I made it!  I made it through the chemo treatments.  I'm anxious to be done and wanted to celebrate like crazy, but then I realized I'm only done with phase 1 of my treatment.  I still have 2 more parts left (next stage being surgery).

We got home much later than most of my other treatments.  We stopped and picked up Papa Murphy's for supper.  Andy and the kids were home shortly after that.  The kids had a blast playing with the balloons.  We toasted again at the supper table, the kids loved the sparkling grape juice and the fancy glasses.  Not sure how much Clara actually got in her mouth versus on her clothes.  Those glasses sure spill easily:)

I spent most of my time in the recliner besides for eating supper.  My legs were really, really achy and tired.  Rhonda stayed until the kids were in bed (thank you so much for your help).


Friday we met with the radiologist Dr. Weyers.  She explained what to expect from radiation and all the fun side affects that can occur, like fatigue again.  Except with chemo when you get knocked down I had a little time to recover before the next treatment, with radiation it will be everyday so you don't quite recover.  She said I'll be at my weakest 1-2 weeks after I'm actually done with radiation.  The other joyful side affects are a sore throat and then skin reaction.  Supposedly it will be like getting sunburned over and over, to the point where it could blister.  Right now she guessing we will be starting this sometime in March, and it will last 6 1/2 weeks.

Clara's trying to smell the flowers.  It was really cute.

It felt really crazy not having to go in this past week to get treatment.  It was a good kind of crazy.  My legs still feel tired and achy quite often, but hoping each day it will get better and better.  Now I just need to enjoy the holiday's with my family, try and see some friends, and then get ready for surgery in January.

Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 11 of 12

11/25/2014 Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 11 of 12

This weeks treatment went really well.  My mom came down and spent most of the week with us, which made things much easier.  I'm sure she loved the Meinecke Thanksgiving, nice and loud:)  And we even were able to get out shopping on black Friday, or is it now black Thursday?

 

As the week of Thanksgiving came upon me, there are many things that I have to be thankful for.  First off a big thank you to everyone that has been praying!  They say big things can happen with prayer, and I'm hoping that God is hearing all of us.  Special thank you goes out to my Aunt PK and Uncle Stan who have been making sure that my house is getting cleaned for me each month.  Thanks to everyone that has brought us a meal.  It's been really awesome not having to worry about those things and using my energy with the kids instead.  Thank you to everyone that has given me support and love.  I'm truly blessed to have such awesome friends and family in my life.

For my mom who has been so amazing through all of this.  You are so willing to come down and help anytime that I have needed you.  Thank you for the many hours we've spent talking on the phone, crying, and telling me things are going to be OK.  You have been so strong for me and have helped keep me focused on the things that are important in life.  I pray that I will have many years with my children and be able to give them the same love and support you have shown me.

For my hubby.  You have been my rock for the past 5 months.  Thanks for taking on more of the rolls at home with the kids, getting up with Clara each night so I can sleep, laundry, homework, and so much more.  Thank you for listening, and letting me tell you how scared I've been.  Most importantly thank you for holding me through the rough nights, and letting me cry in your arms.    I love you to the moon and back!

Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 10 of 12

November 18, 2014 Taxol/Herceptin 10 of 12

After the crappy week I had, the thought of going in for another round of treatment was definitely more discouraging.  But things went quite well this past week.  My high school friend Abbey came down to take me to my treatment, which was super nice.  During all the pre-meds we gobbled down our subs and had fun catching up and talking about kids, her kegerator, and life in general.  As soon as they gave me the benedryl and lorazapam it was lights out for me.  I woke up a little bit on the uneasy side, I could've slept for a couple more hours.

We had a little time when we got back to the house before the kiddos came home.  Andy had a basketball game so I was thankful that Abbey stayed and helped get the kids fed, homework done, and ready for bed.  It would've been a hard night by myself without her.

The rest of the week went better than the previous ones.  I've needed to take some of my nausea medicine a little bit more each week because I have felt sick to my stomach a couple of times.  The fatigue is just there, nothing that I can get rid of right now and just have to deal with.  I started to sew some sweater mittens this week.  I was pretty impressed with my sewing ability.  The mittens are made out of wool sweaters, so don't get ride of any wool sweaters.  I'll take them and start my own mitten shop or something:)  Although I will share that I after making my first two pairs of mittens without any problems, I went to make the next two pairs and ended up with 4 right handed ones:)  So maybe the mitten shop isn't such a good idea.

Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 9 of 12

November 11, 2014 Taxol/Herceptin 9 of 12

After the scare over the weekend I was very anxious to meet with my oncologist Dr. Hake on Monday.  Wasn't sure exactly what he was going to say or if he would even have answers.  So I told Dr. Hake what had happened over the weekend, that my chest has been hurting, and the speech problem I had.  He told me he was more concerned about the speech problem and wanted to run a CT scan of my head.  When he was examining me he took a double take at listening to my heart.  "I think I hear a heart murmur.  You didn't have one before?"  Not really sure what all this meant, other than Dr. Hake told me that he was NOT worried, so I shouldn't be.  So they got me in this same day for my CT scan,  and Echocardiography test (ultrasound of my heart) along with a bubble study of the heart.  The good news is the CT scan of my head came back normal, and the Echo test didn't show anything major.  I do have the heart murmur now, but they're not sure if the chemo caused it or some other factor.  I don't know much about heart murmur's other than there are lots of people that have them, and its something that can come and go.  So this will be something they will be monitoring, but treatment will continue on as planned.

My dad came down for my treatment and stayed a couple of days.  Treatment on Tuesday was earlier than normal, so as upsetting as it was we didn't end up getting Subway.  Although come to find out they do serve breakfast food, but the thought of an egg on a sub didn't entice me.  The treatment went well again.  I didn't watch much of Happy Gilmore, but dad was laughing so I don't think he got quite the same nap as me.  We got done with treatment a little after 1, so we went to the Boneyard Pup & Grill and shared some appetizers.  It's always nice to spend some father-daughter time together.  By the time we got back from lunch I had a little time to relax before the the kids got dropped off.  Even though I'm tired, they keep me moving.

The rest of the week I wish would've went better for me.  I really hate to complain, but this stomach cramping, spending time in the bathroom, and fatigue business just plain sucks!!!!  I couldn't even keep Clara home with me on Thursday because I felt so crummy.  Friday night I had ran out to Walmart for just a short period of time and I just didn't feel right.  Now this is less than 5 minutes from our house.  I had to sit down twice in Walmart, felt very uneasy, came home and went to bed by 7:(  I guess the fatigue stage is deciding to stick around for an extra couple of days now.

Saturday, we went up to Brillion and I went out to eat with my girlie's.  Since I still wasn't feeling the greatest we kept it close to home.  So thanks for picking me up, spending time with me, listening and laughing, and just being great friends.  I love you guys!

Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 8 of 12

November 4, 2014 Taxol/Herceptin 8 of 12

Treatment went really well this week.  Thank you to Kelly for driving down and spending the day with me.  It was nice to spend some extra time together and catch up on our busy lives.

Excited to say that my hair is definitely growing:)  I'd like to say it's my special shampoo and conditioner that I got, but who really knows.  Just as long as it keeps working!  I'm also excited that my eyebrows and eyelashes are also starting to grow back too.  It seemed like all of a sudden they were gone. I couldn't believe it.

I was a little sad this week and had some extra tears after finding out my new friend Chris had passed away last Sunday.  I had met her at some of the breast cancer events that Richy's had in Big Bend.  We both were on the same chemo regimen, but she had already had her surgery.  I've been very confident that I was going to make it through this battle and come out on the other side.  So many people have and why shouldn't I believe I will too.  Then this through me back a couple steps, realizing that things can change just like that.  I will keep fighting, praying, and hoping that I will be a survivor, and that I will be around to see my kids grow up, and grow old with my hubby.  I just need to keep believing that God will lead me.

I did have a little scare this week.  On Friday night after going out to eat with family I started to feel a little bit tired, weak, and was having some chest pain.  So I sat down in a chair and tried taking some deep breaths to calm myself down.  But then I tried talking and I couldn't get words to come out.  I was mumbling.  I felt like I knew what I wanted to say to Andy but couldn't.  Like idiots we didn't call the doctor or go in to the ER.  I laid down on the couch and after a few minutes I got my speech back.  I felt like it was forever, but Andy thought it was only for about 5 minutes.  Saturday morning I called the doctor and they wanted me to go into the ER to get checked out since I was still having mild chest pain.  They ran an EKG, blood work, and chest x-ray.  Everything came back just fine.  So after 5 hours of being at the ER they sent us on our way, with still really no answers for the pain  (maybe I could have strained a muscle picking up the kids, but really don't know).  I'm hoping that it will just get better and the speech problem won't happen again! 

Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 7 of 12

October 28, 2014 Taxol/Herceptin 7 of 12

Well, I was crossing my fingers that my counts were high enough to get treatment this week.  They were pretty low the week before and we weren't sure if they would climb high enough, but they did. Yeah!  Grandma Getter came with me to my treatment this week, which was really nice for her to meet all the great nurses.  We of course got subway again and went through the same routine at the clinic.  After all the pre-meds I think I slept the rest of the time we were there.  Grandma said she walked around quite awhile because she didn't want to wake me.

We got back to the house and I decided to try and stay awake again so that I would hopefully sleep better at night.  I was very fatigue, white as a ghost, and my legs felt like jello.  So I spent most of the evening in the recliner.  Wednesday I had a little stomach cramping on and off, but for the most part was just fatigue.  Mom and I walked around the big block, which helped get me moving a little.  Andy had parent teacher conferences so he didn't get home that night until after the kids were already in bed.  We watched a movie and went to bed semi early.

On Thursday, around 3 in the morning is when the stomach cramping got real bad.  I spent the rest of the night in the bathroom on and off.  In the morning, I called Dr. Hake to see if they knew what might be causing this.  I had the same reaction the week before, but then I thought I might have just caught a bug of some sort.  So Thursday, I went in to the clinic and they ran a bunch of different tests. Everything came back fine, so nothing that could be causing the stomach pains other than a reaction to the chemo.  So unfortunately this may just be what I have to deal with for the next 5 treatments.  Yikes!  Funny thing is Clara was scheduled to have her 18 month checkup this day, so my mom had to take her instead.  While I was getting fluids, any questions the Dr. had about Clara mom would text me and I'd answer.  I thought about just taking my fluids with me to her appointment but didn't.

Friday we met with the plastic surgeon, Dr. Sonderman who is very nice.  He did say that a team of Doctors had looked at my case earlier in the week and talked about my progress and upcoming surgery.  I feel a bit relieved knowing the next plan in my treatment, and also that a bunch of doctors agreed this was the best for me.  So I am scheduled for a double mastectomy on January 5th.  First the surgeon will go in and remove all of my breast tissue.  I still have been having nipple bleeding so they will not be saving that part of my breast.  Then the plastic surgeon will put in tissue expanders and 4 drain tubes.  The surgery will take about 4-5 hours and I will be in the hospital overnight.  That part amazes me and scares me that I will be there only one night.  They will maybe remove some drain tubes after one week, otherwise they stay in most of the time for 2 weeks.  During this time I will be going in so they can add more fluid into the tissue expanders.  They want to try and do this as quickly as they can so we don't delay starting radiation.  It sounds like after 3-4 weeks I would then have a second surgery where they will put in the breast implants and take out the tissue expanders.  During this surgery they are going to take fatty tissue from either my stomach area or back, and put a layer over top of the breast implant to help protect it from radiation.  Sometimes during the radiation process, if you have an implant put in first the scaring can have an affect on the implant and it may not look as natural.  But layering it with the fatty tissue should help.  This is a newer procedure that they have been doing and they have seen some great results from it.  I've had lots of volunteers for me to take their fatty tissue instead of using mine, so maybe the highest bidder will win:)  J/K  I did ask Dr. Sonderman if my breasts will be a little higher than they are right now, after breast feeding and 3 kids their not quite like they used to be.  He of course laughed and said they will be much more perkier.    This made me think that wearing a bra or even a swimsuit are going to probably feel very different.  Anyway, this is the plan as of now.

Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 6 of 12

October 21, 2014 Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 6 of 12

Yeah!  I made it to my halfway point of my taxol treatment.  Its hard to believe that 4 months have gone by already.  I had a little rough week emotionally, but have made it through.  My friend Jessie Micke came down to take me to my treatment.  It was really great to catch up with her.  The treatment went well, my legs felt a little bit more weak this time around.  It was extremely nice that Jessie stayed and helped get the kids supper, homework, baths, and ready for bed.  Thank you so much for your help!

On Thursday, Andy and I met with my surgeon Dr. Bartos.  He was also extremely pleased with the response my MRI had shown to the chemo treatment.  We are still planning on a double mastectomy towards the end of December.  Dr. Bartos explained a little bit about what to expect with the surgery itself, hospital stay, drain tubes, and the weeks after surgery.   I have a meeting with the plastic surgeon this week.

Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 5 of 12

10/14/2014 Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 5 of 12

So some exciting news as this weeks treatment came around was that the chemo is working!  The Doctor was very pleased when we seen him which was great.  My toe is a little bit sore and they actually just put me on an anti fungal antibiotic for that, plus still continuing on my other one.  Sometimes its hard to keep all the medication straight, what I'm supposed to take, when, etc.

My Godmother Jean came down to take me to my treatment and stayed for a couple of days.  The treatment itself went good, and the days following too.  I'm not really sick to my stomach with this chemo cocktail, but feel pretty fatigue.  It was extremely nice to have an extra set of hands helping with food, cleaning, laundry, and the kids.  THANK YOU JEAN!

I also want to share that my hair is growing back!  Did you hear that!  It's growing:)  You can see it just a little bit.  Last week I kept asking Andy if he thought it was coming in, and of course he said "Well sure, maybe".  Even though I don't think he believed me.  But this week you can see it for sure!  Clara might have me beat, but I'm going to catch up to her:)

Lastly, I want to thank everyone that still thinks about me and what our family is going through.  It amazes me that I still get cards in the mail, emails, and text messages checking on how I am doing.  Thank you!  

Healing Quilt made by April Heindl

Thanks!

Mid MRI Results

10/13/2014 Mid Treatment MRI Results

So Andy came with me and we met with Doctor Hake today.  He is very pleased with the MRI results.  I asked him twice to explain again what he saw on the MRI.  So here's Andy's explanation:
Sheila's MRI showed good enhancement, meaning there is more flowage of blood and water in her breast.  Secondly, there was no discrete areas of tumor.  Before she started, Dr. Hake said her whole breast lit up, and had a lot of small discrete stared areas (dense tumors).  Now, while the tumor is still there, it is decreasing in size and density.  It was more of a darker shading, than dark with all kinds of small sharp stars.

So in layman's terms the tumors are busting up and the chemo is doing its job.  Some good news!

I asked many different questions today when I met with Doctor Hake.   One was how long after chemo will I wait before having surgery?  He said about 3 weeks after.  Which right now would fall December 23rd.  He did say that we could push it back to the next week because of Christmas.  However, I need to meet with my breast surgeon and reconstruction surgeon soon so we can get that scheduled.  I may have the option to have reconstruction done right away, but again will have to wait until I actually meet with the surgeon's.  I still will be having radiation.

Unfortunately I have come down with a cold.  I have a sore throat, but the strep culture they did today came back negative.  So good news there because that means I can still get treatment tomorrow.  I also have infection in my big toe that needed to be punctured and drained.  So now I'm on antibiotics and soaking it, and will hope for it to clear up without needing anything else.

I've learned that what I may have planned to do in a day can change just like that with Doctor's appointments and treatment.

Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 4 of 12

October 7, 2014 Treatment 4 of 12

I was very excited to have my dad come down and take me to my treatment this week.  I wanted him to meet all the great people that are working with me.  I also was glad that my counts were high enough for me to have my treatment.

So we headed to Subway to get my usual Spicy Italian and then to the clinic.  They hooked me up and started with all the pre-meds.  I spelled my last name and stated my birthday a zillion times.  While we waited for the pre-meds to get through my system Dad and I talked about a bunch of stuff.  We usually don't have that much time that the two of us just hang out together.  It was so nice!  Dad helped me fill out my Power of Attorney for Health Care and now have that on file.  We put on the movie Something about Mary, got as comfortable as we could, and then it was nap time.  The bet was out on who would be sleeping first, dad or me.  Well the verdict...Dad:)  He was snoring a little bit, but I wasn't to far behind.  Not sure if either of us watched much of the movie.

After treatment we headed back to the house around 3 and I took a pretty long nap, don't think I got up until around 5.  Andy brought the kids home and I took it easy.  Dad helped get supper ready for the kids, homework done, and get them ready for bed.  We watched a pretty stupid movie on TV that night.  I think I finally fell asleep close to midnight.  

Dad stayed over to help on Wednesday with Graysen and Clara.  It sure is hard to keep little ones quite, good thing I have a pair of ear plugs.  Not sure when I got up, but after breakfast we went for a long walk around the block.  It felt really good, but I was getting pretty tired towards the end.  I took an afternoon nap, but didn't wake up feeling to good.  I never really felt nauseous, just a little out of it.  I couldn't remember when I took my medicine even though I write it down.  I was questioning if I had actually took it or just wrote it down and still needed to take it.  It was a weird feeling not knowing.  Dad stayed and helped with supper again, and getting the kids ready for bed.  I was able to relax with him there helping Andy.  

The rest of the week I've felt a little bit more fatigue than I remembered with earlier rounds of the taxol/herceptin, but still manageable.  Friday I had another MRI done, but haven't heard any results from that yet.

I want to thank everyone who brought us food this week, prayed for us, sent kind thoughts, or helped out in whatever way.  It is amazing how much love a person can feel; which when your faced with a battle like this, I need it!

Now for my Dad.  The love and strength that you have given me is more than you know.  I look at my own children and the love that I feel for them is indescribable.  I would give anything for them to not have to feel pain.  I know that you feel the same for me.  It probably was hard coming along and watching me get the chemo drugs knowing that you can't take that pain away from me.  I just need you to keep on holding my hand.  You have raised a strong woman and I will fight through this!  

Race for the Cure

9/21/2014 Susan G. Komen Race - Racing for the 1 in 8

What a wonderful day this was for me.  At first I wasn't sure about doing a 5K and if I would even be able to finish the race/walk.  I had know idea how the treatments would be going and if I'd be up for walking.  As the day got closer, and I could see all the support I was getting it was well worth every step.  I loved the head bands "Sheila's Squad", the shirts, and buttons.  I felt like I had an extra little bounce in my step this day.  The music was fun, and there were just so many people.

After the race we came back to our house for a potluck.  It was probably one of the first parties we had that I didn't feel like I was running around like crazy.  Grandma Getter and some other people were instead:)

Back at the house we thanked everyone for coming and I tried to share some of the emotional feelings that I've been having through this journey.  Some of the hardest things is to put my trust in God.  There are days when I question why he would give me breast cancer.  What did I do to deserve this?  Will I make it through?  Will it come back?  How is this affecting my family?  I also talked about the many books that I've been reading, internet searching (although that I need to monitor and cut back on this).  I have one book that I read little passages every night that talks about God being by our side.  Giving me hope, and trusting that he has a plan for me.  I asked my family and friends to sing "In Christ Alone" with me which has been one of the songs that I continue to sing for hope and courage.

Again, thank you to everyone that was able to come and walk/run, join us at our house, or just thought of me on this day.

I tried making a video from the pictures I had from the day, but the one below might be blurry, so then I uploaded it to you tube and it seems to be a little better.  So here's the link for that http://youtu.be/oSUGxNatJNU

No Treatment - too low white blood counts

9/30/2014 NO TREATMENT - too low white blood counts :(

So I didn't expect to receive this phone call on Monday night, but it finally did happen to me.  My NEUTROPHILS (part of my White Blood Counts) were too low for treatment.  In fact, they went from 1.71 to 0.53.  They are supposed to be at least at 1.0 for treatment otherwise my immune system will have a difficult time fighting off any germs/infections that may come my way if they proceeded with chemo.  

So now the question becomes, what does that exactly mean for my course of treatments?  Basically, everything will get pushed back with Taxol.  I still will be getting my 12 rounds, but now the last round gets pushed into December:(  So not exactly sure what that means for surgery then either.  I'm guessing it still may happen in December, depending on if I miss anymore treatments.  I also asked why they just don't give me the Neulasta shot after my treatments like they did with the AC to help boost the white blood cells.  They did say if my counts don't bounce back there is a different shot called Neupogen that I can get that would help boost the counts.

They did give me Herceptin, nonetheless.  This is that targeted treatment to combat my HER2 status that I will get every 3 weeks after chemo is over.  Again, Herceptin is not considered to be chemotherapy, but I will get infused with this drug until August of 2015. There are limited to no side effects with Herceptin, thankfully.  

My friend Kelly came down still and took me to the clinic.  We picked up Subway, shocking I know, same sandwich for me every time:)  I was awake the whole time for this one, so it was so nice to catch up and be able to talk with Kelly.  Thanks so much for taking me!

So right now I feel great!  Bummed out that I couldn't get treatment, but there isn't much I can do about it.  Just hoping that my counts bounce back up for next week.

Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 3 of 12

9/23/2014 Chemo Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 3 of 12

It was so great to see so many of my friends and family on Sunday for the Susan G. Komen Race. (I'll blog about this later)  Although by the end of the night by legs were quite sore and even into Monday.

So I thought most of my blogs with my taxol/herceptin treatments were going to sound very similar.  Again to start my morning off, I dropped the boys off at school and then Clara went to Grandma & Grandpa's for the day.  I headed back home and got myself ready, picked up a couple of things and then my cousin Rhonda showed up to take me to my treatment.  We headed off to Subway and then to the clinic by 11:30.  They got us back in the room and started the saline.  This time they threw me off because they gave me the herceptin first which takes about 30 minutes.  I said, "Wait aren't you suppose to give me the steroid drugs,etc. first?"  They said those are needed for the taxol and this order will be just fine.  So Rhonda and I ate our subs, talked about the race day, how the party at the house went, and other things too.  After the herceptin drug came on the benadryl.  I like the fact that it makes me sleepy, but not the other side affect.  Rhonda put on Friends which my nurse Deb even watched a little with us too.  She is so funny!  I love her!  It didn't take long and I was out sleeping away.  Although I had some major leg twitching this time, and it stayed for most of the day into the night for me. Half of me was wondering if I pushed myself to hard with the Susan G. Komen Race, and then the other half was wondering what in the world did they give me.  Something new?  Deb thought it could be the combination of the benadryl and lorazapam that I took.  Who knows?  Eventually the time had passed and I was done with the taxol a little after 2.  I had to go to the bathroom so bad, so they helped me up but I ended up getting really dizzy.  Being to proud I didn't want them to get me a wheel chair.  I figured I could do it on my own, I'm a strong girl.  I sat in the chair in the hallway for only a little while, I really had to pee, so they helped me back up and I made it in time.  One of the nurses walked me back to my room and we stayed a little longer so I could get my barrings back.  At that point all I wanted to do was get home and lay down in my bed.  I think we left the clinic just before 3, in a wheel chair.  Good thing my cousin Rhonda is a prow with pushing one of those things:)

We got back to the house and I gave hugs and thanked Rhonda for taking me.  (THANK YOU!)  Off to bed I headed thinking this was a good idea.  Rhonda waited around until Andy got back from work.  I stayed in bed until after 5.  We ate a little supper and then Andy went to get the kids.  I had a little snuggle time with the kiddos before their bedtime.

Andy and I watched the movie "We're the Miller's", which was super funny.  I'd highly recommend watching it.  It was getting closer to 10 and so we were heading off to bed.  But of course I couldn't fall asleep.  My legs were still bothering me and my sleeping pill and lorazapam just didn't seem to work.  Actually felt like it had the opposite affect.  Finally I just got back up and went to the recliner so I wouldn't keep waking Andy up.  I think I finally fell asleep after 2 sometime.

The rest of the week went well.  I felt pretty good, didn't really need my nausea medication as much.  I had the kids on Thursday already, but definitely could've used a nap but I survived without one.  I even made it to the zoo on Friday:)  Overall, I'm doing good with this treatment so far!

Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 2 of 12

9/16/2014 Chemo Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 2 of 12

Hard to believe I was back at the clinic for another treatment.  Luckily I responded so well to the first treatment that I was ready for another one (well as ready as one can be knowing your getting chemo).  I was able to take the kids to school in the morning and then dropped Clara off at Grandma & Grandpa's for the day.  My friend Lindsey from college came down to take me to my treatment which was really nice.  We got to the clinic at 11:30, they hooked me all up and started with the initial steroid's, etc. We got out our Subway Subs and were able to catch up with each other for about the first hour.  Then came on the benadryl and the Lorazapam which made me quite sleepy.  I couldn't even remember what movie we had picked out to watch, or Lindsey watched:)  All of a sudden it was just before 3 and they said I was all set and we could head out.  I didn't even realize they switched the chemo drug at some point.  Although I would've needed to tell them my name and birth date, so I must have woke up for a little bit.  It's hard to see but Lindsey wore a shirt that was pretty cute.  It had a bunch of bee's on it, and it said, "Check your Boo Bee's".  So get checking!!!!

When we got back to the house we chatted for a little longer and then Andy got back from work.  I actually stayed up until bedtime and felt pretty good.  Even ate supper that night!  Wednesday Andy's parent's kept the kids so I was home with my cousin Debbie Kotes.  I slept in until around 8:30, she made me breakfast, did our dishes, my laundry, trimmed flowers, and even washed some of our windows.  I didn't know if asking her to wash the windows was over stepping the boundaries, but my cousin Rhonda said it was ok.  So blame her Debbie if it was too much!  Thank you for all your help!
I was feeling pretty good, but I still took around a 2 hour nap on Wednesday afternoon, which felt great.  Thursday I was planning on keeping Clara home with me, but I had a rough night of sleep so Andy's parent's kept the kids again and I was able to take it easy.  Friday I was feeling quite well.  Graysen and Clara stayed home with me and we were able to go for a walk and to the park.  It was nice just to snuggle and play with them.  Something that I cherish being able to do while I can.

Right now I'm counting my blessings that I'm responding well to the taxol and herceptin.  Also counting my blessings that I'm able to do more things with the kids each day than I was before.  Again, thank you to everyone that has helped in any sort of way.  Whether it be a meal, sending money/gift cards, spending time with me, or even praying for me.  I'm truly blessed to have such wonderful friends and family in my life.  Even though this journey is hard, it is much more doable having each of you here with me!  Let's keep up the Fight!!!

Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 1 of 12

9/9/2014 Chemo Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 1 of 12

So Tuesday I had the start of my new treatment, Taxol and Herceptin.  They ask a lot of the same questions and I had to spell my last name and state my date of birth quite a few times.  They started me off with the saline, steriod drug, and benadryl.  These all take a combined hour about.  Larry the counselor was there talking with us for the first while which made the time go really fast.  After the first hour had passed they started the Herceptin drug which took 90 minutes, then the Taxol for 30 minutes.  They did give me a Lorazapam during the treatment like with the AC just as a precaution.  They said if it worked last time lets keep doing it.  So it did make me sleepy, but also helped with the nausea.

When we got home from the clinic I went to sleep right away.  I was tired and felt a little out of it.  Andy and the kids eventually came home from school and I got up to be with them.  I didn't feel to bad.  My mom was down and helped get supper on the table and I actually ate food instead of just having chicken broth.  So right there is already an improvement with the new treatment.

This whole week has been much better than after the "Red Devil".  I have had more energy and a better appetite.  I've actually stopped taking the nausea meds on Friday already and have just been using my sleeping pills at night.  That's usually when my mind starts to wonder on me and then I stay up thinking about stuff.

My mom was down for a couple of the days to help with me and the kids.  It was wonderful to have her.  I cried when she left knowing that I would now need to be strong enough to take back over some of the house duties.  And its something about having your mom around when your sick that is so much more comforting.  She reminded me that I was a strong woman and that I will get through this journey.  I love you mom!  Thank you for believing in me!

First Blood Transfusion

Monday 9/8 First Blood Transfusion and Results from Scans

So last week Thursday I went in for blood work, an ultra sound, MRI, and MUGA test.  My Aunt Sue and Grandma Getter came with me for the day (THANK YOU!!!!)  I mixed up where I was supposed to go right away in the beginning of the day (9:30 AM) so they accidentally drew blood, instead of just accessing my port.  After the blood work, I had my ultra sound.  This they needed to get the same screen shots as the first time so they could actually compare them.  During this, the Medical Oncology department tracked me down because I never showed up for the port access.  So after the ultra sound we went straight to that department for them to access my port, then to my MRI.  This went fine, not much to it.  After my MRI, I was tracked down again because they had gotten my blood work results and my hemoglobin level was low.  They were hoping to be able to get me in for a blood transfusion yet that day.  I didn't know much about the blood transfusion, but with all the symptoms I was having after my last treatment and how low the red blood cell count was I agreed that we should get that done too.  So before my MUGA scan we had to go back down to the Med. Oncology department so they could draw more blood and crossmatch for the transfusion.  Now back to the area for the MUGA scan. We felt like we walked all over the hospital.   Again very easy test for me, although I did feel a little more queasy after this test.  Finally, it was about 2:30 and we headed down for the blood transfusion.  They gave me some benadryl which definitely made me sleepy.  I think we finally left the hospital around 5:30.  I was hoping to feel better when I left, but I it was a pretty long day that I was just ready to go to bed.  Friday I felt much better and we had a pretty good weekend up at the Meinecke cabin, minus my bee sting.

Today I met with the doctor to go over the test results.  I was hoping for better news, the doctor used the words "He was satisfied with the results."  Basically, my large tumor has shrunk a little bit, the 2 smaller areas they are watching are the same, and the one lymph node is the same.  My MUGA test came back at 68% which is good.  All of my counts were back up and are ready for treatment tomorrow.  I guess I was hoping to hear that all of the tumors had shrunk, especially after my doctor said that sometimes the smaller ones don't even show up after the 4th treatment of the AC.

Tomorrow I start the 12 weeks of Taxol and Herceptin.  They say I should recover faster than I have been with the AC treatments.  So I'm hoping for a faster recovery, and less side affects!

I received a card the other day and inside my old neighbors had written, "Some days it rains so the sun can shine after."  I think about what this means and the other things I've been reading and that is so true.  God wants me to trust that he has a plan for me.  I guess the saying that he never gives you something you can't handle has to be true.  I just keep hoping, and praying that the sun will shine for me after all of this!

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." - Matthew 11:28-29.

Chemo Treatment #4

8/26/2014
Chemo Treatment #4 Last of the AC! (AKA ... Red Devil)

Today was the first day of school for Gavin and Graysen.  I was very excited that I was still able to take them to school.  They were so adorable!  I got a couple hours at home with just Clara before we had to pick Graysen up and drop them off at Grandma and Grandpa's for the day/night.

As I was getting geared up for my last AC treatment, my college roommate Stephanie made it down and was staying the next couple of days.  As we are walking in the building were giggling about playing the Rocky fight song or some other pump up music as I went in to get my last of the Red Devil treatment.  Boy could I have used that extra energy and the feeling that I was invincible during the next couple of hours.  My treatment itself went good.  They gave me another Lorazapam during the treatment which made me quite sleepy.  I don't think I made it through too many of the good old "Friends" episodes we were trying to watch.

Tuesday night followed suite like most of the other treatments.  Had some chicken broth, called the kids to see how their day was, and was in bed quite early.  Wednesday and Thursday I slept most of the days.  Was able to walk to the stop sign in our cul de sac, which is not far at all.  Aunt Sue was around on Thursday and helped with Clara during the day why the rest of the boys were all in school.  I think I moved from the bed to the couch, back to the bed most of the day.  I just couldn't muster up any energy.  My skin felt really bruised to touch and I was having blurred vision.  I will say this AC treatment put a beating on me. I wanted to fight so bad and get up, but I just couldn't.  My friend from college Rosie was here on Friday and helped watch the kids since they didn't have school.  I made it out of the bedroom a little bit more, but sure wasn't the type of visit I was hoping to have.  I was just counting the time until it hit 7 o'clock and I felt like I could go to bed for the night.

Saturday was a pretty low key day for us.  I think the farthest I got was to sit on the back patio for a little while.  I did stay awake for longer this day, but laid around for most of it.  My appetite hasn't been the greatest this time around, I've felt sick to my stomach a lot more than in the past treatments.  I've had a lot more breakdowns emotional this last round of treatments.  It's so hard to stay positive when things are just not going the way your are hoping.  I felt really disconnected from my kids and just life in general.  Just like a cloud was over me and it just wouldn't move.

I do want to thank my helpers for this week.  You got kind of a crummy one, and I was really hoping to be able to catch up on things versus you just having to take care of me and my family.  I know that's what you were here to do was to help, so thank you!

Some days when I"m struggling with the fact that I'm going through this and there really isn't anything I can do, I watch videos.  So I'm going to leave you here with one that I've watched quite often.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SPOzkmuGDg&index=6&list=PLF8D5C899C0D6C78B

Hoping tomorrow will be a brighter day!

Chemo Treatment #3

8/12/14 Chemo Treatment #3

Back for another week and now more than halfway through the "Red Devil" treatment.  This time things are getting a bit more interesting with running to the clinic.  On Monday, I had my blood work and met with Dr. Hake.  He is so funny, which is nice to have in this situation.  All my counts came back great, besides for my red blood cells were a bit low.  He said I can blame that on him.  He did give me a physical exam and could only feel one lymph node now, and that the big mass in my breast is also down in size.  Feels a bit more squishy to me also, and sometimes I can't find the initial lump that I found.  So the best news ever is that we believe it is shrinking!

On Tuesday is when I actually had my AC cocktail, the "Red Devil".  This time to try and help with the nausea feeling they gave me a LORazepam right away.  Andy had a little bit more quite time, because it did make me sleepy during the treatment.  But I never ended up feeling like I was going to need a bucket, which was way better than the first 2 times.  I still had a pretty bad headache so I kept putting ice packs on, but overall this time was just mainly fatigue.

On Wednesday I went back in for my Nuelasta shot.   Now for some people this can have some bad side affects, luckily for me I haven't really had any.  They also did give me some more fluids because my blood pressure was low again.  I figured if anything, it will just help me get through the week with bit more energy.  My sister-n-law Shannon was with me and we watched "America's Sweethearts".  Well, she watched it and I may have dosed off a bit here and there.  I also got to talk to one of my mentor's Nichole.  She was at the clinic getting her final HERceptin drug.  It was nice talking with her and seeing that there will be an end to this nightmare, and also the fact that she is doing great.

Thursday I just felt the fatigue.  I woke up in the morning and was up for only a couple hours, and all of a sudden I could barely keep my eyes open.  I needed to go in and lay down. (almost 3 hours later before I woke back up.)  Luckily Andy and Shannon had taken the kids out, so the house was nice and quite for me to sleep.

My HERS-2 test that we kept waiting for the results to come back were inconclusive again.  So both the lymph node area and mass were tested twice using 2 different kinds of tests one score was a 1.52 and 1.64. Below 1 means you are negative, and a score above 2 is positive.  So what does that exactly mean for me, they are going to treat me as if it was positive.  So I will be in the HERS-2 chemo drug for a year.  That will start in the September when I start the Taxol drug.  I will get hercepin every week for 12 weeks with the Taxol, and then I will get the herceptin alone every 3 weeks until sometime in August next year.  The side affects are not supposed to be as bad with this one.

Now is when I realize that I'm going to treat this all the way to flipping August next year.  Holy cow!  That seems like forever from now.  But we just need to take it one step at a time and first make it through this round of AC treatment.  I will be looking for some helpers once my September treatments start up.  If the schedule stays the same Monday's I'll need to go in for blood work and meet my Doctor.  Tuesday would be my chemo treatment.  I'm not sure how I'm going to react to this new chemo so I may also need help on Wednesday's.  Please let me know if you are available to help out so I could arrange some sort of schedule with my treatment days.  I believe I'll be starting Tuesday, September 9th with my new chemo drug.  However, things can change so quickly, especially if my counts aren't high enough to receive treatment, then things will get pushed back.

Again, I can't express the gratitude for everyone that has been saying prayers, sending positive thoughts and all the gifts that have been sent.  It truly is a blessing to have such wonderful friends and family in our lives.  THANK YOU EVERYONE!

Bye Bye Hair

8/1//2014 Bye Bye Hair

So whatever Doctor won the award for pin pointing the day someone was going to lose there hair after the start of Chemo, I'd like to meet him.  I couldn't believe it.  Day 17 arrived and my hair was saying good bye.  Everyone told me this was going to happen, the Doctors, the internet, talking with other people.  I knew this day was going to come.  But as much as I knew it, this was one of the hardest things ever.

I woke up on Wednesday, and found a couple strands of hair on the bed, little more than normal.  I took a shower and just freaked out.  It was crazy.  I just kept getting handfuls of hair.  I finally stopped, just hoping that if I didn't scrub any more it would stay longer.  Andy luckily cleaned the drain for me so I didn't have to see how much was in there.  He said there wasn't that much.  Throughout the day I found a little bit more hair on my clothes, on the chair where I sat, and then on my dinner plate.   Talking with my mom, I was going to try and make it to church on Sunday.

On Thursday morning, I found some more on my pillow.  In the shower, I just cried.  Actually, I screamed too.  Andy came in, he started cleaning the drain right away so I didn't have to see it.  It seemed like so much was in my hands.  When I looked in the mirror you could just tell, my hair looked dry and I'd have strands you could just grab and pull out.

So Friday morning rolled around.  I found more on my pillow.  This was just devastating.  Everyday waking up with this, showering with this.  I knew that I was going to shave my head, but I thought I'd be able to make it a couple of days.  So Friday morning, we sat the kids down on the couch.  All three of them, Gavin, Graysen, and Clara.  Here's how the conversation went:

Me:  "So you know how mommy has been going to the Doctor's for here owies."
Kids:  Yeah.  (Graysen started pointing to my port.)
Me:  "Remember my owies are in my boobies."
Kids:  Yeah.  (Graysen trying to find my bruises again.)
Me:  "Well, the Doctor's are giving mommy some pretty strong medicine to help those owies go away.  And that medicine is what makes mommy tired all the time."
Kids:  Yeah.  (Graysen said "Tired?" in his cute questioning voice).
Me:  "Well the medicine is also going to do some crazy things to my hair."  At this point I reached back through my hair and had a handful.
Kids:  Wow Mom!
Me:  "So were going to all get hair cuts today.  Even mommy.  Will you guys help me?"
Kids:  YES!!!

So after everyone else got there haircuts, a little shorter than usual, so did I.  Having the kids there was great.  It made it less dramatic for me.  I don't even think I shed a tear.  Gavin kept saying that I looked like a Gray Wolf.  Not sure about the gray part, but they sure liked rubbing my head.  They still do, they think it's so soft.  Around the house I try and wear scarves or hats, but sometimes I'll go with nothing too.  Andy and my mom both said that I look good.  Sometimes I think they have to say that because they love me so much.  I'm sure if I walked in a store I'd get some good stares.  This is probably the hardest part like I said.  Now everyone will know that I'm sick.  This is the visual that we who have cancer dread.  I'm hoping by letting my kids help and not hiding it from them, they will look at people differently when they see others.  I'm hoping they will know that the person is still real, even thought they may look different.

Chemo Treatment #2

7/28/2014 Chemo Treatment #2

As I as waiting for the start of my 2nd chemo treatment, I was having a harder time getting myself mentally ready.  Many thoughts were going through my head.  Was I going to react the same way?  Was I going to get the metallic taste and the bad headache again?  Was I going to feel nausea's?  Was it going to be worse?

We changed up a couple of things before we started this round of chemo.  I started taking the Claritin on Friday already instead of waiting until Monday.  This was supposed to help with the stuffy head feeling and headache, plus the achy bones.  They also slowed down the AC drug and administered it over an hour instead of just 30 minutes.  The treatment itself was very similar to the first time.  I was asked to say my last name and birth date many times.  I met with the nurse oncologist who examined me and said everything was looking good.  We talked briefly about the next couple of treatments and then started the AC drug.  The "Red Devil" came first.  Again the nurse sits right next to me and every few minutes dispenses a couple ML of the red concoction for a total of 10 minutes.  Next came the C-cyclophosphamide, which they changed to take an hour instead of the 30 minutes.  I started to get a slight headache towards the end of this treatment, but it was better than the first time.  It seemed to take a long time for them to get all my drugs lined up this time.  I think we were there a total of 5 1/2 hours.

My support group for treatment #2 was Andy and my Mom.  I also received a blanket from my nieces and nephews to take with me to my treatments.  Each of them picked out a different pattern and they tied them all together, so when I'm getting my treatment they each are wrapping their arms around me too.

Thankfully after we left the clinic we didn't go out to eat this time.  I also tried something different overall with my eating this day.  For breakfast I had peanut butter toast, and then at the clinic I brought a smoothie and a granola bar.  This way I wouldn't have a big heavy meal on my stomach when we were all done.  I knew I had a short window by the time we got home before I started to feel crummy, so I ate some saltine crackers right away and tried drinking water.  I took a short nap.  After my nap I pretty much laid on the couch watching a movie, and then I started to get the crummy feeling again.  I was getting really hot and dizzy, and thought I was going to get sick again.  With ice packs on my head, I was right back to the same feeling of treatment #1.  Eventually, I just tried to go to bed.

Tuesday I went into meet with the Genetics Counselor and took the saliva test for them to see if my cancer was genetically related or just sporadic.  We won't get these results back for another 3 weeks.  I also had my Neulasta shot which was easy, but when they checked my blood pressure it was quite low again so they gave me some more fluids intravenously.  That gave me a good boost for the day.

Wednesday, we went to finalize and order my wig.  My mom and my friend Kate came with which was very nice.  This is the one I ordered, but in a different color.  I'm supposed to be able to pick it up on Friday.  We went out for lunch, which was good.  We weren't gone for that long, but on the drive home I couldn't even keep my eyes open I was so exhausted.  It amazes me how fast I get tired.

Thursday, was our 10th Anniversary.  I wanted so badly to feel good for today.  I tried taking 3 naps in the day, but didn't really sleep until maybe the last time.  We ended up going out on a dinner cruise in Lake Geneva from 7-9, which was a lot of fun.  The houses were just beautiful.  I just wish I had more energy to enjoy the evening more.

Overall, treatment #2 went pretty good.  Just need to get used to getting exhausted so easily.  I think it's hard for the kids seeing this and not really understanding.  Maybe its harder for me seeing me, and thinking that they don't understand.  Gavin got so mad that he says all I do is sleep.  Or he asks who's watching us today since you can't mom.  These are the things that make this journey the hardest.  I want to do things for them, I want to play with them so badly, I just can't.  I know that I'll have good weeks that I will be able to do things.  But as a mom, it's hard to sit back.  My kids are only going to be little once, and I don't want to miss out.

Wig Wigs Wigs

7/24/2014 Wig Shopping

So I didn't really know what to expect as I was headed out to try and find me a new look.  I had a team of supporters with me: my mom, Andy's mom and sisters, and my fashion queen Rhonda.  I new that they would be honest with me and not let me pick out something crazy.  We had 3 places lined up for the day and arrived at the first stop at 9 AM in Wales.  This lady only had a couple of Wigs to choose from, and explained a little about some of the cap differences inside.  I had red wigs, blonde wigs, brown wigs, some with highlights, long ones, shorts ones.   The hard part was picking out a style and trying to look past the actual color of the wig.

 So we narrowed the vote down to one wig when we left Xanadu's.

Onto the second appointment in Pewaukee at the Healing Haven.  This lady does it out of her house.  It took us awhile to find it at first, but boy was her place beautiful.  You could tell right away that she was very passionate about helping people that are in my situation.  She talked about how cancer can affect us in so many different ways, and hugged me a couple of times.  She really encouraged me to remember that this is the one thing that we can control.  If there was anything cosmetically that was bothering me she could help. She said over and over, that "WE GOT THIS PART"!  

So now let the fun begin,.  Lisa had so many wigs for me to try on, and in so many different styles and colors.  She new what she was doing that's for sure.  As we went through we had a "Yes" pile, "Maybe" pile, and then of course the "No's".  We had asked her if she had the Mickey wig that we had picked out from the first place and she did.  When she got it out of the box and I tried it on, boy was it crazy.  It just kept getting puffy, especially when we went out side and I was running around her front yard.  Yes, you read that correctly, I literally was running around.  I wanted to make sure that if I went outside I still liked the color, and the wig still looked good.  We had it narrowed down between 3 wigs, then 2.  Rhonda has one of the wigs on and we were trying to compare them.  Eventually, I made my decision.  I'm right between a petite size and a regular.  So we have to get the regular and try to tuck the wig.  Seems crazy to me, but she assures me that it will work.

We were with Lisa for 2 1/2 hours.  It was now one o'clock and we still hadn't ate anything, and were supposed to be in New Berlin for my last appointment at 2.  I decided that we would go out for lunch and I would try and reschedule my last appointment for later in the day or Friday.

We ate at the Lake House in Pewaukee.  The food was really good, but the service was slow.  I wouldn't recommend going unless you had at least 2 hours to kill.  It took them 20 minutes to bring us our drinks, and over 45 minutes before we got our mozzarella sticks.  Really how hard is it to drop those in the oil and make?  I could maybe understand if the restaurant was packed, but there was only one other table that was in the restaurant besides us.

When we got home later that night I downloaded the pictures so I could show Andy.  After looking at the pictures I started to panic.  I called Rhonda and talked with her.  I called Kris, then Mick.  I'm looking at these thinking this is the wig I picked out.  Oh my gosh.  Really?  

I laid in bed that night just thinking about the day.  I finally broke down in tears.  Andy asked what was wrong.  Was it something I read in my book?  I told him not really.  I had a really fun day with all my girls, but the reality of it is this is truly going to be happening, and its happening to me.  I'm the one that's going to be losing my hair.  I'm the one that is going to look funny.  I'm the one that is sick.  

So Friday Rhonda, Kris and my friend Kasi went with me to the 3rd stop we were supposed to make in New Berlin.  Andy, my mom, and the kids stopped in towards the end of the appointment.  I'm very glad that this was not the first place we went to.  The service was not to good.  They were running a half hour late, but didn't really give us any suggestions on what to do why we were waiting.  They say things are private, but yet they have all the wigs sitting out on manikins in the waiting room.  We took our own initiative and wrote down some of the names of the ones to try on.  I was able to try on my 2nd place wig I had picked out from the Healing Haven and absolutely loved it.  It laid perfectly on my face and was not bulky.  The problem is they won't take the wig in for me, so it would actually fit my head better.  I don't want to be walking across some parking lot, having the wind pick up and away flies my wig.

So needless to say, I still don't have a wig ordered yet and day 17 is fast approaching.  That's the day that most people start to lose their hair.  I have my next round of chemo starting Monday, and then my recovery days.  Hoping my hair will hold on longer than they expect.

Special Delivery

Wednesday 7/23/2014
Today was going to be a pretty low key day.  I had my Grandma Nick and Auntie Donna coming down to visit and help me with the kids.  I was feeling good, and finally started to have more of an appetite.  Although I'm far from eating the portion sizes that I used to eat.  After breakfast I decided I would shower and get ready for the day.  I noticed that I had some more nipple discharge and was wondering what in the world that meant.  So on the phone with the doctor I am again.  Here I had called earlier in the week for a sore toe that started to get infected.  I was planning on just using home remedies by putting on anti-bacterial ointment and soaking it.  Talking with my mom she told me I better call my doctor.  So I gave them a call on Monday and they put me on antibiotics right away.  This made me realize that any little thing, might lead to something bigger and they don't take those chances.  (Glad to say my toe looks great now).

So now that I'm on my second call to my doctor in 3 days, I told them I didn't want to be one of those nagging patients but I wasn't sure what the nipple discharge meant.  They assured me to keep calling with anything, anything at all to call.  Although they probably wouldn't want to hear from me 5 times in one day I'm sure.  I'll try and keep it down to only 5 times in a week maybe.  Anyway, they did want me to come in so they could examine me to see if I had any signs of infection.  They took my vitals and drew blood right away to see my count levels.  When the nurse practitioner examined me she thought everything looked great and the discharge could be a sign of the chemo breaking down the cells.  She did say my blood pressure was low and wanted to give me some fluids intravenously.  I told them it wasn't a problem, so we were there another 2 hours getting some extra boosters for the rest of the week.

It actually worked out quite well.  Why I was there I was able to talk to one of my friends that had also gone through this same treatment a year ago.  She was in for one of her Herceptin treatments.  We were able to talk face-to-face versus just through text/emails.  Larry, one of the counselors was also there, so we were able to talk about a couple things and how things could be affecting our kids.  Andy had ran out to get me a Mint Oreo blizzard and just got back in time to watch a couple Friends episodes on TV before we headed back home.

I felt bad because we had left Grandma and Donna at home with the kids, thinking it was only going to be an hour.  Which clearly turned into 3.  The roof was still standing when we got back, Donna trimmed my flowers and watered them for me.  The kids were drawing pictures with sidewalk chalk. They said everything went fine.  (THANK YOU!)

Now you're probably wondering why in the world I titled this "Special Delivery".  Well, when I got back from the doctor there was a package on my counter addressed to me.  When I opened it up there was a card from Aaron Rogers and the Green Bay Packers.  How cool was this?  Aaron Rogers and the Packers sending me something.

It's hard to read but it does say:

 Please know that we are thinking

     of you at this time

 and wish you the very best.

 Aaron Rodgers and The Green Bay Packers

When I dug in the box right on top is an autographed football from the 2012 Packers team.  Andy was so excited because of course one of his idols is Charles Woodson, who's signature was right in front by Aaron's.  There were so many things inside:  of course the football, a Packer umbrella, 2 Packer key chains one with my name flashing on it, deck of cards, Packer pen, Packer socks, Pink Gatorade towel, Packer Tote, Packer blanket, pink wrist sweatbands, and then for the breast cancer awareness they do every year in October I got one of the Packer Hats with the pink cancer symbol on back and pink on the front.

What an awesome surprise!  So most people are probably wondering how in the world I would get something like this.  I'll just say Thank You Aaron Rogers and my close friend Jessie Micke:)

Chemo Treatment #1

7/14/2014 First Chemo Treatment

Many thoughts were running through my head as we were preparing to go in for my first Chemo treatment. Biggest concern was of course how was I going to react. After the port placement and feeling sick from that, I was quite concerned that I might have a long 20 weeks ahead of me. The thought of trying to take care of 3 kids the way I would want to might be a far fetch dream, at least for now.

Well, we dropped off our kids at Andy's family for the firsts 3 days. This way we could adjust to how I was feeling. I left in tears as I new that I wouldn't see them for a couple of days, but also tears knowing where I was headed.

The cancer center is right where we live; taking only 5 minutes to get there, so very convenient. The rooms are all private with a recliner, tv, dvd player, WIFI, a window room if we wished, and plenty of room for others to be in the room with the patient. We chose to be in a room that didn't have a window, because they are in the process of adding on an ER section to the hospital and we thought it would be less distracting.

The oncology nurses were more than wonderful and explained everything they did in great detail. First they took my weight and vitals, then they drew blood so we could see where all of my counts were at before we started this horrific journey. I repeated my first and last name several times as well as my date of birth whenever they would administer anything intravenously. First they started me off with saline, and a steroid drug to help with the nausea for the first day or so. I could taste the saline in the back of my throat, they suggested that I bring some hard candy to suck on next time. Andy's sister Mick showed up, which was nice to have another person to converse with, and try and keep my mind off of what was about to happen. We had to wait about 30 minutes to get my blood work back before we could even start with the chemo drugs. Everything came back good. I had a couple low counts, but nothing they were concerned about.
Now for the Chemo drugs. I am having 4 rounds of dose dense AC every other week. This is what I had on Monday. A-Adriamycin is known as the "Red Devil" as it is some potent, hard-nosed chemo drugs, and can cause some not fun side effects such as: risk of infection, bruising, bleeding, anemia, fatigue, nausea, eye problems, hair loss, sore mouth, taste changes, bladder irritations, diarrhea, sun sensitivity, and nail changes. In rare instances, Adrimycin can cause heart damage. This is why I had to have the MUGA test to make sure my heart was strong enough to undergo this type of chemotherapy.

During the infusion, I felt a little light headed but that was about it. The nurse actually sat right next to me and every 30 seconds would dispense the chemo into me. This one took about 10 minutes because it has to be a slow shot into my bloodstream. It looked like red Kool-aide (no joke). Then, after the A-aka "Red Devil" was administered, the C-cyclophosphamide came. That was simply a bag drip for about 30 minutes.  This one towards the end was giving me a pretty bad headache, so they slowed it down a little bit more.

Chemo #1 was done in no time.  In total, I was there for about 5 hours, with only 45 minutes of it having the chemo drugs put into my system.  My oncologist, Dr. Hake, stopped by to see how I was doing before we left and actually showed us the MRI of my left breast.  No one had shown me what it all looked like yet, but after seeing it I'm not sure if that made me more nervous.  I'm just thankful that I now had the chemo drugs in my system and are already working to fight this cancer!

It was about 1:15 and Andy and I hadn't ate anything yet.  So instead of going home to find something we decided to go out to eat.  Well, at the restaurant I told the waiter that depending on how I was feeling we may need to leave.  So we paid for our food right away.  I felt dizzier as the time was passing, but did make it through lunch.  (Which I'll regret later).  When we got home my head was hurting so bad, I had an ice pack on my neck and forehead.  Then to top that all off, I felt so sick to my stomach I thought I was going to puke.  I was hugging the toilet for a little while.  I couldn't stand the metallic taste that kept going down the back of my throat.  It was just awful.  I eventually just took some more nausea medicine and went to bed.

The next couple days, I definitely felt the fatigue set in.  It's hard to believe how tiring just taking a shower can be.  I haven't had much of an appetite.  Just eating toast, smoothies and drinking water the best that I can.  The kids came home on Wednesday, which I was super excited to see them.  But realized that I won't be able to do everything that I want to for them.  I'm thankful for all my helpers I had for the week (Andy's family, my best friend Kelly, sister-in-law Shannon, and Aunt Sue).  I truly would not have made it through these first couple of days without there help!  THANK YOU!!!!

As I think about what God has put in front of me these passed couple of weeks.  I do take comfort in knowing that he is hear holding my hand through all of this.  I have my huge support from friends and family on one side, and then him holding up my other.  When the cancer kicks my ass and tries to take me down, I know that I will stand up and fight it!  I will beat this!  I have to, for me, for Andy, for my kids.
IT will not win, I WILL!!!!!