Chemo Treatment #4

8/26/2014
Chemo Treatment #4 Last of the AC! (AKA ... Red Devil)

Today was the first day of school for Gavin and Graysen.  I was very excited that I was still able to take them to school.  They were so adorable!  I got a couple hours at home with just Clara before we had to pick Graysen up and drop them off at Grandma and Grandpa's for the day/night.

As I was getting geared up for my last AC treatment, my college roommate Stephanie made it down and was staying the next couple of days.  As we are walking in the building were giggling about playing the Rocky fight song or some other pump up music as I went in to get my last of the Red Devil treatment.  Boy could I have used that extra energy and the feeling that I was invincible during the next couple of hours.  My treatment itself went good.  They gave me another Lorazapam during the treatment which made me quite sleepy.  I don't think I made it through too many of the good old "Friends" episodes we were trying to watch.

Tuesday night followed suite like most of the other treatments.  Had some chicken broth, called the kids to see how their day was, and was in bed quite early.  Wednesday and Thursday I slept most of the days.  Was able to walk to the stop sign in our cul de sac, which is not far at all.  Aunt Sue was around on Thursday and helped with Clara during the day why the rest of the boys were all in school.  I think I moved from the bed to the couch, back to the bed most of the day.  I just couldn't muster up any energy.  My skin felt really bruised to touch and I was having blurred vision.  I will say this AC treatment put a beating on me. I wanted to fight so bad and get up, but I just couldn't.  My friend from college Rosie was here on Friday and helped watch the kids since they didn't have school.  I made it out of the bedroom a little bit more, but sure wasn't the type of visit I was hoping to have.  I was just counting the time until it hit 7 o'clock and I felt like I could go to bed for the night.

Saturday was a pretty low key day for us.  I think the farthest I got was to sit on the back patio for a little while.  I did stay awake for longer this day, but laid around for most of it.  My appetite hasn't been the greatest this time around, I've felt sick to my stomach a lot more than in the past treatments.  I've had a lot more breakdowns emotional this last round of treatments.  It's so hard to stay positive when things are just not going the way your are hoping.  I felt really disconnected from my kids and just life in general.  Just like a cloud was over me and it just wouldn't move.

I do want to thank my helpers for this week.  You got kind of a crummy one, and I was really hoping to be able to catch up on things versus you just having to take care of me and my family.  I know that's what you were here to do was to help, so thank you!

Some days when I"m struggling with the fact that I'm going through this and there really isn't anything I can do, I watch videos.  So I'm going to leave you here with one that I've watched quite often.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SPOzkmuGDg&index=6&list=PLF8D5C899C0D6C78B

Hoping tomorrow will be a brighter day!