Adjusting back to work

Herceptin #10 of 12 on July 1st, 2015

What a good feeling it has been to finally say that I am done with treatment!  It has been awhile since I have posted but wanted to make sure I finished up my story and am hoping to soon close this chapter of my life.

Thank you again to the wonderful people who came and sat with me during my last herceptin treatments.  It was always so nice to have someone there to keep me company.

Thank you Kate for driving me to my appointment in style, top down:)

Herceptin #11 of 12 on July 22, 2015

Thank you to my amazing friend Kasi from IKE.  You have been so supportive of me, and always can find the right things to say to help make me feel better. Miss you and all my coworkers from IKE.

Last Herceptin Treatment #12 of 12 on August 12, 2015

 I finally made it to my last treatment.  It was a great feeling walking in that day knowing this was the last time that I was going to get poked for treatment.  When I walked into the cancer center my Aunt Sue and cousin Brian surprised me by being in the waiting room.  They had brought balloons, cookies, and of course some bubbly stuff for celebration.  As we hugged, it made me feel so grateful that this day has finally come.

Celebrating with some of my favorite ladies at home!

My oncologist Dr. Hake is an absolutely amazing person.  He came in and celebrated with us, talked with us, and made me feel at ease with being done with treatments.  All the nurses came in and gave me tons of hugs.  I will still get to see them every 2 months for my checkups.

As I left the clinic that day, I did feel like a part of me was being left behind.  I was now entering the stage of life after cancer treatment.  I had know idea what exactly that was going to be like.  I've heard many stories and read many things about how people try to adjust back to life before cancer, and things just aren't the same.

As the end of August rolled around I tried to prepare myself for heading back to work.  Most of you have heard by now, but I took a new position at East Troy high school.  Physically and mentally it has been extremely hard to be back at work.  Things are slowly getting a little easier as I start to get back into a routine, but it has been hard.  I've spent lots of nights in tears, in pain, and being just completely exhausted from the day.

I can't wait for the day I can play a game of kickball and not be tired from running to first base.  I can't wait for the day that I can say I have my energy back.

Some people have asked what I do now for treatments, checkups, etc.  Right now I will see my oncologist every 2 months.  They will check blood work at each appointment and check for anything out of the ordinary.  I'm also on the Tamoxifen pill which I will be on for the next 10 years.  Since my cancer was estrogen positive, this is a hormone therapy drug used after treatments and is supposed to help reduce my chances of a recurrence.  Any concerns or changes in my health I need to let them know right away so we can investigate.  So of course my cording in my left arm seems to have gotten tighter again, which is causing pain all the way down my arm.  I will be starting back at physical therapy again on October 20th.  I also came across 2 lumps that I went in to get checked out.  I had an ultra sound done on my left breast and armpit area.  They were able to give me immediate results that there were no signs of cancer in those areas.  They feel the lumps may just be part of post op, or may be fluid buildup.  I will be getting another ultrasound in 6 months to check the areas again. It has been a stressful couple of days of just wondering what could be.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about "cancer".  I've now went from fighting cancer, to now just wondering when is it going to come back.  Any ache or pain I have my thoughts are right back to "cancer".  Some days I think I'm just going crazy.

As I end my post today I'd like to thank my mentors who have been there for me throughout this whole journey and who still are.  One of my mentors sent me the perfect quote...

"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive.  You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over.  But one thing is certain.  When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in."  - Unknown author.

Make every day count!

One Year!

One year ago today, I was faced with my biggest challenge of my life.  I was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer.  Looking back at the year, it's still hard to believe what I have all gone through:  6 months of chemo, 2 surgeries, and 37 rounds of radiation.  I've been through physical therapy twice, and have had some not so fun side effects with my tamoxifen pill.  I'm also still getting herceptin.

Yesterday at the dinner table my son Gavin started talking about God.  He was saying how much he loved God, but he was scared to die.  I told him that I was too.  I said when I first got diagnosed I was very scared.  We talked about why God died on the cross and how great it is going to be in heaven.

God was there with me through the hard days, the pain, the tears.  He has given me the strength to make it through each day.

Blessings by Laura Story 

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Radiation Done!

I finished up my radiation treatments on May 4th.  When the sound of the radiation machine went silent, I had tears rolling down my face.  Radiation is DONE!  Could I have really just finished 36 treatments, coming everyday for 7 weeks (+ 1 day)?  Granted they did say my skin and fatigue would peak a week or two after, I was completely finished.  But Dr. Weyers and the nurses kept telling me that my skin held up really well.  Looking and feeling the effects, it was hard to believe them, but thankfully it wasn't as bad as it could've been.

April 20th (26 treatments in)

April 24th (30 treatments in)
Starting to peel.  The armpit was the worst part.

May 6th

May 14th

Even the backside of my left shoulder got burned.  They say the radiation has to exit somewhere which is what causes that to happen.







My skin is now all healed up, and for the most part I don't think people will notice all that much.  It looks tan on the left side, but better than RED.





Thank you to everyone that came out and helped me celebrate my birthday and the Parkwalk.  It was truly a blessing to have so many family and friends out supporting me.  It will be one of the positive things I will hold onto from this journey I've been on.

Herceptin Treatment #7 of 12 on April 29th

I still go in every 3 weeks for my Herceptin treatments.  I also have follow-ups with both my
surgeon Dr. Bartos, and plastic surgeon Dr. Sonderman.  I will see them all again in a couple of months to make sure that everything is still going in the right direction.  I have started back at physical therapy, and I'm hoping to get full range again soon in my left arm.  My chording got a little tight during radiation, but I'm just hoping that it gets better so my left side doesn't feel so tight.

Herceptin Treatment #8 of 12 on May 20th

My fatigue level is slowly starting to climb back up.  I've actually been able to take the kids on bike rides, run a couple of times, and play a few more innings of kickball.  My children keep me moving!

My hair is getting longer, and longer, and also curly.  I had a nice afro the other day.  My hair is super easy to do right now, and might I say that I'm rockin the headbands:)

I have been taking the Tamoxifen pill which they want me on for 10 years, but it has a long list of side affects.  I think my worst ones are my headaches and the heavy cycles.  They did do an MRI on my head right away which gave me a little extra anxiety, but it all came back clear.  I've been meeting with Doctors to see what options I have.

Herceptin Treatment #9 of 12 on June 10th

 Anytime I have a little ache or pain my mind immediately wonders if my cancer is back.  I think this fear is something that I will have to live with forever.  But I do need to remember that I am living, and to enjoy the time I have with my family and friends!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  - Jeremiah 29:11.

Halfway through Radiation

I have completed 18 of my 36 radiation treatments.  I had one rough day last week, where I broke down a couple times, but for the most part things have been going good.  Some doctor must have made a ton of money to pin point when the fatigue was going to settle in (the 3 week mark).  My legs have been bothering me quite a bit, and I get short of breath just walking up the stairs.  My skin is starting to turn pink, so I've been putting on the cream they gave me.  I'm hoping the burn doesn't get to bad.  But on the bright side of things, I am halfway done, and I'm crushing it! (Little saying I've picked up from my weekly boot camp I attend).

Herceptin Treatment # 4 of 12

Herceptin Treatment # 5 of 12

My herceptin treatments have been going great.  I still plan on having a full day spent at the doctor on these days.  After my blood is drawn, it takes about an hour before they have the results back.  Then they first release my drugs to the pharmacy which takes usually about another hour before they have everything they need to start.

Herceptin Treatment # 6 of 12 on April 8th

The herceptin itself takes only 30 minutes.  Usually we can get a movie in, but sometimes I'm busy with visitors.  I had the nutritionist come in when my mom was down, perfect fit, she could get some tips for school lunches:)  I also have been able to talk with the counselor from Still Waters too!  All the resources have been very helpful.

Tried spiking my hair like Gavin:)

One of my favorite songs to listen to has been by Steven Curtis Chapman, "Glorious Unfolding".  If you haven't heard it before, it brings me to tears almost every time I listen to it.  Today when I got in my car to leave after my radiation treatment it came on the radio.  I listened, sang, and had tears just rolling down my face.  Here are the lyrics in case you want to read through them.  I also have a link for the video, Glorious Unfolding Video.

"The Glorious Unfolding"

Lay your head down tonight
Take a rest from the fight
Don’t try to figure it out
Just listen to what I’m whispering to your heart
‘Cause I know this is not
Anything like you thought
The story of your life was gonna be
And it feels like the end has started closing in on you
But it’s just not true
There’s so much of the story that’s still yet to unfold

And this is going to be a glorious unfolding
Just you wait and see and you will be amazed
You’ve just got to believe the story is so far from over
So hold on to every promise God has made to us
And watch this glorious unfolding

God’s plan from the start
For this world and your heart
Has been to show His glory and His grace
Forever revealing the depth and the beauty of
His unfailing Love
And the story has only begun

And this is going to be a glorious unfolding
Just you wait and see and you will be amazed
We’ve just got to believe the story is so far from over
So hold on to every promise God has made to us
And watch this glorious unfolding

We were made to run through fields of forever
Singing songs to our Savior and King
So let us remember this life we’re living
Is just the beginning of the beginning

Of this glorious unfolding
We will watch and see and we will be amazed
If we just keep on believing the story is so far from over
And hold on to every promise God has made to us
We’ll see the glorious unfolding

Just watch and see (unfolding)
This is just the beginning of the beginning (unfolding)

Radiation

On March 9, we met with Dr. Weyers (my Radiation Oncologist) about my upcoming radiation treatment plan.  Radiation will use high-energy X-rays to kill any remaining cancer cells.  Radiation does have some side effects with the most common being skin redness (like a sunburn) and fatigue.  I was a little worried about the skin burning, especially since I burn easy from the sun.  However, Dr. Weyers assured me that surprisingly there is no correlation between skin fairness and x-ray sunburn.

So on this day, I had my molding and tattoos done. The molding ensures that I'm in the same position each day I undergo radiation.  To create a cast, I had to lay on what looked like a bean bag with my arms above my head.  It then hardens into a cast that is so specific, I need to find where my fingers go each day in radiation.  After the molding, they did a CT scan to take pictures and calculate the area that was going to get treated.  They then moved the table around a little bit, and a red beam shined from the ceiling to mark the spots for my tattoos.  I have a total of 6, which look like freckles.  In total, I had to lay there with my arms up for about 45 minutes.  My arms were shaking like crazy towards the end.  Luckily, my treatments will be much faster.

On Friday, March 13, I had my dry run at the Mukwonago clinic.  They needed to verify that the mold, tattoos, and calculated radiation area all worked on the machine I will be using at the clinic.  Everything went very smoothly, and I got the ok to start radiation on Monday (see next paragraph for Monday update :).

Monday, March 16 was my first day of radiation.  When I walk into the room I state my name, birth date, and identify myself with a picture that is up on a big screen.  Then I get a pillow case to cover my chest area and lay down on the machine with my mold.  There are 3 red lights that line up with the tattoos under my right arm, left arm, and chest area.  If you look close in the picture you can see 2 of the beams (on my shoe and under my left arm).  They position the machine according to their calculations.  I then have to lay as still as possible, and the radiation begins.  The machine itself moves around me and takes about 5 minutes once I'm in position.

All together I will have 33 treatments, 5 days a week.  The radiation seems weird to me right now, because I really don't feel anything (a far cry from chemo and surgery).  I wonder, can this really be doing anything?  But, I'm only 3 treatments in, and if it can help reduce my chances of a recurrence, it's well worth it!

Ambassador for Mukwonago ParkWalk

I'm very humbled to have been selected as this years ambassador for the Mukwonago ParkWalk for Cancer on Saturday, May 2.  My story will be featured in the newpaper and on the website.  It will be a neat way for me to share my experience and hopefully inspire others in the process.

My favorite thing about this walk is that I personally have benefited from programs funded by walkers donations.  My nurse navigator was the first one to talk with me after my diagnosis, and has been there for me through this whole process.  I really don't know what I would've done without her help.  She has been absolutely amazing.  I also am involved in 2 clinical trials, and used the 3D mammography.  It has been so wonderful staying right in town for my treatments, and I'm very thankful for the programs and services provided at the D.N. Greenwald Center.

Here’s how your donations help:
  -Donations from this event support local cancer research and programs in Mukwonago.
  - Enable patients to enroll in clinical cancer trials, giving them access to the most current treatment options
  - Expand the reach of state-of-the-art technologies, like 3D mammography
  - Provide funding for important programs, like clinical dieticians, nurse navigators who are dedicated partners to each cancer patient and the survivorship program.

So consider coming out and supporting me on May 2nd.  I will be giving the ambassador speech, and then leading the walk.  Well, we'll have to see how long I stay in front, depending on my energy level. Hopefully it may be a big day of celebrating, because I should be finishing up my radiation treatments right around then.

So I hope you're able to join my team, Sheila's Squad.  If you plan on registering more than one person make sure you choose to register multiple people first, and then you'll be asked to join a team.  Also, just a little heads up that the team deadline is March 23.

And remember, if you want to be a member of the Sheila Squad, you have to be smart.  (Signed Scuba Steve)

Implant Exchange and Fat Grafting Surgery

2/19/2015 I had by implant exchange and fat grafting surgery.  We got to the hospital around 11:15 and were scheduled to start surgery at 12:50.  Well, after getting all the initial things hooked up, medical questions answered, and fitted for leg stockings, we just were waiting on Dr. Sonderman.  He was running about 30 minutes behind.  When he got there he marked me all up for the breast implant part and the lipo.  Here was a little of our conversation

"What areas were we all going to do again with the lipo?"  

"Well, let's take a look."  So he marked my lower back, inner and outer thighs.  

 "Do you take out as much as you can or only what is needed." 

 He of course laughed and said, "Well I'm not going to do one side and not the other."

  So I said, "You'll make me look good then right."  We laughed.

The surgery lasted about 3 hours.  Dr. Sonderman came out and told Andy everything went really well.  I actually remember waking up in the recovery room before they took me back to meet with Andy around 5:30.  I was out of it quite a bit.  I tried making it to the bathroom, but had the bucket in front of me again.  Once they got me back to the room they gave me some more neausea medication which eventually did help.  We finally left the hospital around 9 pm.  

Right now I will say that the lipo part hurts worse than the actually breast implants.  I think I feel a little relieved in the breast area, because I don't have the rock hard tissue expanders anymore.  I have some major bruises on my back and thigh areas.  Surprisingly I know it hurts, but I can move at least more than I thought I'd be able to.  Getting in and out of the chair is hard, especially the first initial sit down.  I look like a mummy from breast to toe with all the extra stockings and wraps.  This is to try and help with the blood flow.

The kids have been staying at Grandma and Grandpa's so it's just been Andy and I at home.  Nice to have the peace and quite, and time just to rest.  I have another big week with Doctor appointments.  I have my Eco test, to see how my hearts doing, Herceptin treatment on Wednesday, meet with Dr. Sonderman, and also start back with physical therapy.  Hoping each day I keep getting stronger and stronger.

Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers that have been sent our way.  

It really does make a difference!

Physical Therapy, Tissue Expanders, 2nd surgery scheduled

February 6, 2015

Over the past couple of weeks I have started physical therapy, got expanded twice, and now have my second surgery scheduled.

Trying to show the lymphatic chording in my left arm. 
 If you can tell its the bulge that runs up my arm a little ways.
Also my hair is really coming in now, not quite comfortable
yet to not wear a hat, but soon I'm sure.

Physical therapy has gone pretty well.  It felt so much better to actually stretch my muscles and move around versus being so sensitive to movement.  Colleen, my physical therapist, said the more I move the better I'll feel.  It sure has proven to be that way.  I'm also walking on the treadmill 20 minutes each day, which feels awesome.  My left arm measured at 55 degrees for movement when I first went in and I now its up to about 136 degrees.   I have a small seroma (fluid build-up) in my left armpit that they have drained.  I also have lymphatic chording from my left armpit to my inner elbow.  Feels like a web of rope like structures under my skin.  Only hurts when I try and do my stretches, hoping they will break up.  I'm also still numb under my left arm, there not sure if that feeling will ever come back, but it doesn't bother me to much.  Right now I'm scheduled for about 4 more weeks of physical therapy.  Still have a ways to go before I can start radiation.  I have to be able to get my arms up over my head for that.

The tissue expansion was quite an experience.  The first time I actually felt the fluid going in and my breast getting bigger and tighter.  The second time I didn't really feel anything, but my skin getting a little tighter, especially around my pectoral muscle.  I will not need any more expansions, thank goodness.  I told the Dr. I'm big enough!

So my second surgery is scheduled for February 19th.  They will exchange the tissue expander for the breast implant, and also give me a liposuction for the fat grafting.  Talking with Dr. Sonderman he didn't want to use my stomach area for the lipo, but thought maybe my "love handles".  I asked if he could use my inner and outer thighs.  He said yes!  I proceeded to ask if you'll even be able to tell.  The response I got was, "Well it will be smoother."  What the heck, I'll take that.  This surgery is supposed to be much easier than the mastectomy.  They said I will probably be sorer in the lipo areas, which will feel like a deep bruise.

On Wednesday, February 4th I had another Herceptin treatment.  Blood work was good.  I think we were there for a total of about 2 1/2 hours.  Dad and I watched Tommy Boy during my treatment, and shared some good laughs.

My dad was down helping us out for the week since I was still on a weight restriction and can't pick up Clara yet.  It was great having him here running me and the kids all around.  Little interesting with my dad at Target helping me pick out a pair of spanks that will cover my thigh area:)  Let me tell you, I didn't know that there were so many choices out there.  Thanks dad for not making that awkward, love you!

Overall, things have been getting easier.  Now that I'm moving around more, I'm not as depressed.  I know I had some rough weeks after surgery and the emotional roller coaster of this all can get overwhelming.  Thank you for the continuous thoughts and prayers!

Update and Pathology report

January 16, 2015

Here is just an update on my recovery from surgery.  I would like to say I was prepared for the amount of pain I was in, but that is an understatement.  I still can't believe how painful it was.  It was like a double edged sword, because of getting nausea's from the pain pills.  I have been sleeping in the recliner now for over 1 1/2 weeks.  The first couple of days after surgery are truly a blur, I slept a lot.  In the beginning I needed help getting dressed, in the bathroom, bathtub, etc.  I needed help getting in and out of the recliner.  I couldn't really reach to grab anything, or lift my arms to much.

Chocolate Covered Strawberries- Yummy!  Thank you Yokes!

On Friday Dr. Bartos called with the pathology report.  During surgery 4 out of the 17 lymph nodes showed cancer in them.  Wasn't sure if that was good or bad, but Andy called the surgeon back on Saturday and asked.  He said that was an OK percentage and they wouldn't have to go back in.  It showed that the chemo did work.  Sometimes tumors just shrink in size, and others react in a different way.  Mine stayed the same length but then shrunk into tiny pieces.  So it still appeared to cover most of my left breast, but looked like pepper flakes.  He said there is no way to tell if any cells got out and into the fatty tissues during surgery, but that's what radiation will be for.  Lastly he said that I did have a cluster of cells that spidered up towards the skin in one area.  This is what really scared me.  I'm thinking I've gone through all of the chemo, now surgery, and WHAT????  I still have cancer left!  Dr. Bartos assured me that they got everything they could with the surgery, and now we will be relying on radiation to take care of the rest.

Friday night, my dad and Grandma Nick came down to visit which was nice, but then we also had the kids at home.  Otherwise, thankfully Andy's family had been taking care of them for the week for us.  I loved seeing the kids, but it also made me sad because I couldn't really do that much with them.  Plus I didn't feel well and just wanted it quite, that doesn't happen with 3 little kids though.  Grandma read a couple bible passages to me and prayed with me.  I cried a lot.

Saturday, as much as I loved my little ones I knew the best thing for me was rest.  So mom took Graysen and Clara back home with her on Saturday until Tuesday night.  Rhonda came over on Sunday to help me while Andy went to work on Monday and Tuesday.  It was nice to have some girl time, I still slept most of it.  Soon we'll have girl time that consists of no whining, but maybe some actual wine would be nice.

Wednesday, we met with the plastic surgeon in the morning.  He said everything looked good and was able to take out 2 of the 4 drain tubes.  They loved the shirt I had to hold the grenades.  He thought when I see the surgeon on Monday 1/19, if the drains are under 30 ML then Dr. Bartos will be able to take out the remaining drain tubes.  Otherwise, for sure on Wednesday 1/21 they will be coming out.  Still not sure when I'm going back in for them to fill the tissue expander's.  Although I told Dr. Sonderman that I was good right now, if I didn't have to go through any more pain.  He said I would need one more fill though.

After we left Dr. Sonderman's office we headed over to my oncology appointment.  We stopped at Walmart to pick up my new pain pills and grab subway for my Herceptin treatment.  When we walked in for my oncology appointment, the receptionist asked where my pretty smile was.  Well, needless to say that's all it took and I broke out in tears.  (I was having an emotional day.)  One of the nurses brought me back and we talked for awhile, both of us were crying.  I think I had 6 nurses stop in and give me a hug while I was there.  My blood counts were great and the treatment went just fine.  I tried napping because I was so tired, but didn't get much of one till I got home.  Dr. Hake came in to see me and talked with me about the pathology report.  He was very pleased with everything.  He reassured me that we still have tools we are using to fight the cancer cells.  We have the Herceptin treatments every 3 weeks, I start a pill Tamoxifin that blocks the actions of estrogen and is used to treat and prevent the type of breast cancer cells I have, and soon I'll be starting Radiation.  After talking with him I did feel much better.

I have been feeling better each and everyday.  I'm still numb under my left arm from my armpit to my elbow, but have been moving my arm more and more.  I had my walker helping me along today, Miss Clara.  I was also able to play lots of games with Graysen and Clara today.  It made me feel like mom again, even though I'm not quite able to snuggle them like I want it felt so good to spend some time with them.

I truly would not have made it through the past week without the help of so many people.  Thank you so much for the meals, help with the kids, help with me, and all of you who have been praying and sending me thoughts of encouragement.  On the path I walk in our house, I read the following passages that people have sent me.

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." - Philippians 4.13

"This is my command - be strong and courageous!  Do not be afraid or discouraged.  For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1.9xz

Surgery - Double Mastectomy

Surgery was scheduled Monday, January 5th at 9 AM.  We got to the hospital at 7:30 so they could get me prepared.  All the doctors came in to talk with me before the surgery and the anesthesia doctor agreed to give me a patch behind my ear to hopefully help with the nausea.  At 9 they were ready to wheel me out, I gave Andy a kiss, they gave me some happy juice and that's the last I remember.

Andy said the Doctor's both came out with big smiles and said everything went quite well.  The first Doctor was done around 12:30 and then the Plastic Surgeon finished around 2:30.  I was in the recovery room for quite awhile, and then got up to my room around 4:30.  I don't remember much of it at all, other than saying "It Hurts".  Andy said I kept saying it every 10 seconds almost.  There were a couple of people that stopped in, I don't remember them.  I was able to get up and walk a little bit that night before I went to bed.  I was up at 12 for my pain pills, at 2 I needed some more because it hurt so bad they gave me some morphine.  At 4 I got more pain pills and at 6 AM I got some more morphine.

On Tuesday, I was able to get up and walk around quite a bit.  Still very painful.  I wondered how bad it really was, if I was in that much pain with the medicine.  The Doctors all stopped by and checked things over.  We left on Tuesday around 4:30.  At home I've been basically in the recliner or trying to eat at the kitchen table.  Andy keeps telling everyone that I'm doing good.  But I'm not going to lie, this hurts like hell.  I'm finally getting some feeling back in my left hand.  Otherwise for awhile I wasn't able to pick anything up with that one.  Last night I cried a little bit because it hurt so bad.  I have to wait every 4 hours for the pain meds, and usually at 3 hours I'm ready for another one.  Today however, I've been sick to my stomach and have thrown up a couple of times.

I am surviving and I know each day will get better, but man does this suck!!!!
Thank you for the continued prayers.

Disclaimer:  Sheila is doing really well as far as recovery.  She is making incredible strides for being out of surgery a few days.  She is able to dress herself, walk, reach for a towel, get in the bath tub with a little help, etc.  Right out of surgery she couldn't hardly move in bed.  Her pain is still really high, but some of the drugs from surgery are still wearing off so that is expected according to the doctors.  A long way to go, but I stand by my comment that Sheila is doing great :)

Night before Surgery

First off, I didn't post anything about my Herceptin treatment on December 23.  This was much different than all the others, because there wasn't any pre-meds that I needed to have.  Aunt Sue came with me, but we didn't bring subs along since we had to be there at 10 AM.  The longest part was just waiting on my blood work to come back and then the pharmacy to release the drugs.  The Herceptin treatment only takes about 30 minutes and I'm awake the whole time.  I don't think I had any side affects from the treatment.  With the holiday's it was hard to tell if I was a little sick to my stomach from everything that has been getting passed around or if it was my treatment.
Thank you for keeping me company Aunt Sue!

Now over the past couple of days I've been thinking more and more about my surgery.  With it being tomorrow morning at 9, I'm not going to lie, I'm a little nervous, scared, anxious and so much more.  I feel like I'm pretty set with help for the first while, and the kids will be at Grandma's and Andy's sisters for the week.  This way, I can concentrate on getting myself better.  Thank you to everyone that has sent me text messages, cards, prayers, and love my way.  I had some great talks with my mentors, and feel they have prepared me well for what is about to come my way.  I'm hoping it will be better than what I'm envisioning.

I'm going to end with a prayer, this way God will hear it a zillion times as everyone else reads this:)

Please God be by my side tomorrow morning.  Help ease the anxiety that I have.  Please be with Andy in the waiting room tomorrow and let him feel your love for us.  Guide the hands and hearts of Dr. Bartos and Dr. Sonderman as they work on taking out what's left of the cancer.  Please let me feel your presence and help give me peace.  Stay by my side as I come out of surgery and have the challenges of new days ahead of me.  Give me the strength to heal, and the courage to stay strong and positive.  Help my children understand what I am going through, and that I love each one of them to pieces.  Amen.