Update and Pathology report

January 16, 2015

Here is just an update on my recovery from surgery.  I would like to say I was prepared for the amount of pain I was in, but that is an understatement.  I still can't believe how painful it was.  It was like a double edged sword, because of getting nausea's from the pain pills.  I have been sleeping in the recliner now for over 1 1/2 weeks.  The first couple of days after surgery are truly a blur, I slept a lot.  In the beginning I needed help getting dressed, in the bathroom, bathtub, etc.  I needed help getting in and out of the recliner.  I couldn't really reach to grab anything, or lift my arms to much.

Chocolate Covered Strawberries- Yummy!  Thank you Yokes!

On Friday Dr. Bartos called with the pathology report.  During surgery 4 out of the 17 lymph nodes showed cancer in them.  Wasn't sure if that was good or bad, but Andy called the surgeon back on Saturday and asked.  He said that was an OK percentage and they wouldn't have to go back in.  It showed that the chemo did work.  Sometimes tumors just shrink in size, and others react in a different way.  Mine stayed the same length but then shrunk into tiny pieces.  So it still appeared to cover most of my left breast, but looked like pepper flakes.  He said there is no way to tell if any cells got out and into the fatty tissues during surgery, but that's what radiation will be for.  Lastly he said that I did have a cluster of cells that spidered up towards the skin in one area.  This is what really scared me.  I'm thinking I've gone through all of the chemo, now surgery, and WHAT????  I still have cancer left!  Dr. Bartos assured me that they got everything they could with the surgery, and now we will be relying on radiation to take care of the rest.

Friday night, my dad and Grandma Nick came down to visit which was nice, but then we also had the kids at home.  Otherwise, thankfully Andy's family had been taking care of them for the week for us.  I loved seeing the kids, but it also made me sad because I couldn't really do that much with them.  Plus I didn't feel well and just wanted it quite, that doesn't happen with 3 little kids though.  Grandma read a couple bible passages to me and prayed with me.  I cried a lot.

Saturday, as much as I loved my little ones I knew the best thing for me was rest.  So mom took Graysen and Clara back home with her on Saturday until Tuesday night.  Rhonda came over on Sunday to help me while Andy went to work on Monday and Tuesday.  It was nice to have some girl time, I still slept most of it.  Soon we'll have girl time that consists of no whining, but maybe some actual wine would be nice.

Wednesday, we met with the plastic surgeon in the morning.  He said everything looked good and was able to take out 2 of the 4 drain tubes.  They loved the shirt I had to hold the grenades.  He thought when I see the surgeon on Monday 1/19, if the drains are under 30 ML then Dr. Bartos will be able to take out the remaining drain tubes.  Otherwise, for sure on Wednesday 1/21 they will be coming out.  Still not sure when I'm going back in for them to fill the tissue expander's.  Although I told Dr. Sonderman that I was good right now, if I didn't have to go through any more pain.  He said I would need one more fill though.

After we left Dr. Sonderman's office we headed over to my oncology appointment.  We stopped at Walmart to pick up my new pain pills and grab subway for my Herceptin treatment.  When we walked in for my oncology appointment, the receptionist asked where my pretty smile was.  Well, needless to say that's all it took and I broke out in tears.  (I was having an emotional day.)  One of the nurses brought me back and we talked for awhile, both of us were crying.  I think I had 6 nurses stop in and give me a hug while I was there.  My blood counts were great and the treatment went just fine.  I tried napping because I was so tired, but didn't get much of one till I got home.  Dr. Hake came in to see me and talked with me about the pathology report.  He was very pleased with everything.  He reassured me that we still have tools we are using to fight the cancer cells.  We have the Herceptin treatments every 3 weeks, I start a pill Tamoxifin that blocks the actions of estrogen and is used to treat and prevent the type of breast cancer cells I have, and soon I'll be starting Radiation.  After talking with him I did feel much better.

I have been feeling better each and everyday.  I'm still numb under my left arm from my armpit to my elbow, but have been moving my arm more and more.  I had my walker helping me along today, Miss Clara.  I was also able to play lots of games with Graysen and Clara today.  It made me feel like mom again, even though I'm not quite able to snuggle them like I want it felt so good to spend some time with them.

I truly would not have made it through the past week without the help of so many people.  Thank you so much for the meals, help with the kids, help with me, and all of you who have been praying and sending me thoughts of encouragement.  On the path I walk in our house, I read the following passages that people have sent me.

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." - Philippians 4.13

"This is my command - be strong and courageous!  Do not be afraid or discouraged.  For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1.9xz

Surgery - Double Mastectomy

Surgery was scheduled Monday, January 5th at 9 AM.  We got to the hospital at 7:30 so they could get me prepared.  All the doctors came in to talk with me before the surgery and the anesthesia doctor agreed to give me a patch behind my ear to hopefully help with the nausea.  At 9 they were ready to wheel me out, I gave Andy a kiss, they gave me some happy juice and that's the last I remember.

Andy said the Doctor's both came out with big smiles and said everything went quite well.  The first Doctor was done around 12:30 and then the Plastic Surgeon finished around 2:30.  I was in the recovery room for quite awhile, and then got up to my room around 4:30.  I don't remember much of it at all, other than saying "It Hurts".  Andy said I kept saying it every 10 seconds almost.  There were a couple of people that stopped in, I don't remember them.  I was able to get up and walk a little bit that night before I went to bed.  I was up at 12 for my pain pills, at 2 I needed some more because it hurt so bad they gave me some morphine.  At 4 I got more pain pills and at 6 AM I got some more morphine.

On Tuesday, I was able to get up and walk around quite a bit.  Still very painful.  I wondered how bad it really was, if I was in that much pain with the medicine.  The Doctors all stopped by and checked things over.  We left on Tuesday around 4:30.  At home I've been basically in the recliner or trying to eat at the kitchen table.  Andy keeps telling everyone that I'm doing good.  But I'm not going to lie, this hurts like hell.  I'm finally getting some feeling back in my left hand.  Otherwise for awhile I wasn't able to pick anything up with that one.  Last night I cried a little bit because it hurt so bad.  I have to wait every 4 hours for the pain meds, and usually at 3 hours I'm ready for another one.  Today however, I've been sick to my stomach and have thrown up a couple of times.

I am surviving and I know each day will get better, but man does this suck!!!!
Thank you for the continued prayers.

Disclaimer:  Sheila is doing really well as far as recovery.  She is making incredible strides for being out of surgery a few days.  She is able to dress herself, walk, reach for a towel, get in the bath tub with a little help, etc.  Right out of surgery she couldn't hardly move in bed.  Her pain is still really high, but some of the drugs from surgery are still wearing off so that is expected according to the doctors.  A long way to go, but I stand by my comment that Sheila is doing great :)

Night before Surgery

First off, I didn't post anything about my Herceptin treatment on December 23.  This was much different than all the others, because there wasn't any pre-meds that I needed to have.  Aunt Sue came with me, but we didn't bring subs along since we had to be there at 10 AM.  The longest part was just waiting on my blood work to come back and then the pharmacy to release the drugs.  The Herceptin treatment only takes about 30 minutes and I'm awake the whole time.  I don't think I had any side affects from the treatment.  With the holiday's it was hard to tell if I was a little sick to my stomach from everything that has been getting passed around or if it was my treatment.
Thank you for keeping me company Aunt Sue!

Now over the past couple of days I've been thinking more and more about my surgery.  With it being tomorrow morning at 9, I'm not going to lie, I'm a little nervous, scared, anxious and so much more.  I feel like I'm pretty set with help for the first while, and the kids will be at Grandma's and Andy's sisters for the week.  This way, I can concentrate on getting myself better.  Thank you to everyone that has sent me text messages, cards, prayers, and love my way.  I had some great talks with my mentors, and feel they have prepared me well for what is about to come my way.  I'm hoping it will be better than what I'm envisioning.

I'm going to end with a prayer, this way God will hear it a zillion times as everyone else reads this:)

Please God be by my side tomorrow morning.  Help ease the anxiety that I have.  Please be with Andy in the waiting room tomorrow and let him feel your love for us.  Guide the hands and hearts of Dr. Bartos and Dr. Sonderman as they work on taking out what's left of the cancer.  Please let me feel your presence and help give me peace.  Stay by my side as I come out of surgery and have the challenges of new days ahead of me.  Give me the strength to heal, and the courage to stay strong and positive.  Help my children understand what I am going through, and that I love each one of them to pieces.  Amen.