Adjusting back to work

Herceptin #10 of 12 on July 1st, 2015

What a good feeling it has been to finally say that I am done with treatment!  It has been awhile since I have posted but wanted to make sure I finished up my story and am hoping to soon close this chapter of my life.

Thank you again to the wonderful people who came and sat with me during my last herceptin treatments.  It was always so nice to have someone there to keep me company.

Thank you Kate for driving me to my appointment in style, top down:)

Herceptin #11 of 12 on July 22, 2015

Thank you to my amazing friend Kasi from IKE.  You have been so supportive of me, and always can find the right things to say to help make me feel better. Miss you and all my coworkers from IKE.

Last Herceptin Treatment #12 of 12 on August 12, 2015

 I finally made it to my last treatment.  It was a great feeling walking in that day knowing this was the last time that I was going to get poked for treatment.  When I walked into the cancer center my Aunt Sue and cousin Brian surprised me by being in the waiting room.  They had brought balloons, cookies, and of course some bubbly stuff for celebration.  As we hugged, it made me feel so grateful that this day has finally come.

Celebrating with some of my favorite ladies at home!

My oncologist Dr. Hake is an absolutely amazing person.  He came in and celebrated with us, talked with us, and made me feel at ease with being done with treatments.  All the nurses came in and gave me tons of hugs.  I will still get to see them every 2 months for my checkups.

As I left the clinic that day, I did feel like a part of me was being left behind.  I was now entering the stage of life after cancer treatment.  I had know idea what exactly that was going to be like.  I've heard many stories and read many things about how people try to adjust back to life before cancer, and things just aren't the same.

As the end of August rolled around I tried to prepare myself for heading back to work.  Most of you have heard by now, but I took a new position at East Troy high school.  Physically and mentally it has been extremely hard to be back at work.  Things are slowly getting a little easier as I start to get back into a routine, but it has been hard.  I've spent lots of nights in tears, in pain, and being just completely exhausted from the day.

I can't wait for the day I can play a game of kickball and not be tired from running to first base.  I can't wait for the day that I can say I have my energy back.

Some people have asked what I do now for treatments, checkups, etc.  Right now I will see my oncologist every 2 months.  They will check blood work at each appointment and check for anything out of the ordinary.  I'm also on the Tamoxifen pill which I will be on for the next 10 years.  Since my cancer was estrogen positive, this is a hormone therapy drug used after treatments and is supposed to help reduce my chances of a recurrence.  Any concerns or changes in my health I need to let them know right away so we can investigate.  So of course my cording in my left arm seems to have gotten tighter again, which is causing pain all the way down my arm.  I will be starting back at physical therapy again on October 20th.  I also came across 2 lumps that I went in to get checked out.  I had an ultra sound done on my left breast and armpit area.  They were able to give me immediate results that there were no signs of cancer in those areas.  They feel the lumps may just be part of post op, or may be fluid buildup.  I will be getting another ultrasound in 6 months to check the areas again. It has been a stressful couple of days of just wondering what could be.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about "cancer".  I've now went from fighting cancer, to now just wondering when is it going to come back.  Any ache or pain I have my thoughts are right back to "cancer".  Some days I think I'm just going crazy.

As I end my post today I'd like to thank my mentors who have been there for me throughout this whole journey and who still are.  One of my mentors sent me the perfect quote...

"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive.  You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over.  But one thing is certain.  When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in."  - Unknown author.

Make every day count!