Update and Pathology report

January 16, 2015

Here is just an update on my recovery from surgery.  I would like to say I was prepared for the amount of pain I was in, but that is an understatement.  I still can't believe how painful it was.  It was like a double edged sword, because of getting nausea's from the pain pills.  I have been sleeping in the recliner now for over 1 1/2 weeks.  The first couple of days after surgery are truly a blur, I slept a lot.  In the beginning I needed help getting dressed, in the bathroom, bathtub, etc.  I needed help getting in and out of the recliner.  I couldn't really reach to grab anything, or lift my arms to much.

Chocolate Covered Strawberries- Yummy!  Thank you Yokes!

On Friday Dr. Bartos called with the pathology report.  During surgery 4 out of the 17 lymph nodes showed cancer in them.  Wasn't sure if that was good or bad, but Andy called the surgeon back on Saturday and asked.  He said that was an OK percentage and they wouldn't have to go back in.  It showed that the chemo did work.  Sometimes tumors just shrink in size, and others react in a different way.  Mine stayed the same length but then shrunk into tiny pieces.  So it still appeared to cover most of my left breast, but looked like pepper flakes.  He said there is no way to tell if any cells got out and into the fatty tissues during surgery, but that's what radiation will be for.  Lastly he said that I did have a cluster of cells that spidered up towards the skin in one area.  This is what really scared me.  I'm thinking I've gone through all of the chemo, now surgery, and WHAT????  I still have cancer left!  Dr. Bartos assured me that they got everything they could with the surgery, and now we will be relying on radiation to take care of the rest.

Friday night, my dad and Grandma Nick came down to visit which was nice, but then we also had the kids at home.  Otherwise, thankfully Andy's family had been taking care of them for the week for us.  I loved seeing the kids, but it also made me sad because I couldn't really do that much with them.  Plus I didn't feel well and just wanted it quite, that doesn't happen with 3 little kids though.  Grandma read a couple bible passages to me and prayed with me.  I cried a lot.

Saturday, as much as I loved my little ones I knew the best thing for me was rest.  So mom took Graysen and Clara back home with her on Saturday until Tuesday night.  Rhonda came over on Sunday to help me while Andy went to work on Monday and Tuesday.  It was nice to have some girl time, I still slept most of it.  Soon we'll have girl time that consists of no whining, but maybe some actual wine would be nice.

Wednesday, we met with the plastic surgeon in the morning.  He said everything looked good and was able to take out 2 of the 4 drain tubes.  They loved the shirt I had to hold the grenades.  He thought when I see the surgeon on Monday 1/19, if the drains are under 30 ML then Dr. Bartos will be able to take out the remaining drain tubes.  Otherwise, for sure on Wednesday 1/21 they will be coming out.  Still not sure when I'm going back in for them to fill the tissue expander's.  Although I told Dr. Sonderman that I was good right now, if I didn't have to go through any more pain.  He said I would need one more fill though.

After we left Dr. Sonderman's office we headed over to my oncology appointment.  We stopped at Walmart to pick up my new pain pills and grab subway for my Herceptin treatment.  When we walked in for my oncology appointment, the receptionist asked where my pretty smile was.  Well, needless to say that's all it took and I broke out in tears.  (I was having an emotional day.)  One of the nurses brought me back and we talked for awhile, both of us were crying.  I think I had 6 nurses stop in and give me a hug while I was there.  My blood counts were great and the treatment went just fine.  I tried napping because I was so tired, but didn't get much of one till I got home.  Dr. Hake came in to see me and talked with me about the pathology report.  He was very pleased with everything.  He reassured me that we still have tools we are using to fight the cancer cells.  We have the Herceptin treatments every 3 weeks, I start a pill Tamoxifin that blocks the actions of estrogen and is used to treat and prevent the type of breast cancer cells I have, and soon I'll be starting Radiation.  After talking with him I did feel much better.

I have been feeling better each and everyday.  I'm still numb under my left arm from my armpit to my elbow, but have been moving my arm more and more.  I had my walker helping me along today, Miss Clara.  I was also able to play lots of games with Graysen and Clara today.  It made me feel like mom again, even though I'm not quite able to snuggle them like I want it felt so good to spend some time with them.

I truly would not have made it through the past week without the help of so many people.  Thank you so much for the meals, help with the kids, help with me, and all of you who have been praying and sending me thoughts of encouragement.  On the path I walk in our house, I read the following passages that people have sent me.

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." - Philippians 4.13

"This is my command - be strong and courageous!  Do not be afraid or discouraged.  For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1.9xz

Surgery - Double Mastectomy

Surgery was scheduled Monday, January 5th at 9 AM.  We got to the hospital at 7:30 so they could get me prepared.  All the doctors came in to talk with me before the surgery and the anesthesia doctor agreed to give me a patch behind my ear to hopefully help with the nausea.  At 9 they were ready to wheel me out, I gave Andy a kiss, they gave me some happy juice and that's the last I remember.

Andy said the Doctor's both came out with big smiles and said everything went quite well.  The first Doctor was done around 12:30 and then the Plastic Surgeon finished around 2:30.  I was in the recovery room for quite awhile, and then got up to my room around 4:30.  I don't remember much of it at all, other than saying "It Hurts".  Andy said I kept saying it every 10 seconds almost.  There were a couple of people that stopped in, I don't remember them.  I was able to get up and walk a little bit that night before I went to bed.  I was up at 12 for my pain pills, at 2 I needed some more because it hurt so bad they gave me some morphine.  At 4 I got more pain pills and at 6 AM I got some more morphine.

On Tuesday, I was able to get up and walk around quite a bit.  Still very painful.  I wondered how bad it really was, if I was in that much pain with the medicine.  The Doctors all stopped by and checked things over.  We left on Tuesday around 4:30.  At home I've been basically in the recliner or trying to eat at the kitchen table.  Andy keeps telling everyone that I'm doing good.  But I'm not going to lie, this hurts like hell.  I'm finally getting some feeling back in my left hand.  Otherwise for awhile I wasn't able to pick anything up with that one.  Last night I cried a little bit because it hurt so bad.  I have to wait every 4 hours for the pain meds, and usually at 3 hours I'm ready for another one.  Today however, I've been sick to my stomach and have thrown up a couple of times.

I am surviving and I know each day will get better, but man does this suck!!!!
Thank you for the continued prayers.

Disclaimer:  Sheila is doing really well as far as recovery.  She is making incredible strides for being out of surgery a few days.  She is able to dress herself, walk, reach for a towel, get in the bath tub with a little help, etc.  Right out of surgery she couldn't hardly move in bed.  Her pain is still really high, but some of the drugs from surgery are still wearing off so that is expected according to the doctors.  A long way to go, but I stand by my comment that Sheila is doing great :)

Night before Surgery

First off, I didn't post anything about my Herceptin treatment on December 23.  This was much different than all the others, because there wasn't any pre-meds that I needed to have.  Aunt Sue came with me, but we didn't bring subs along since we had to be there at 10 AM.  The longest part was just waiting on my blood work to come back and then the pharmacy to release the drugs.  The Herceptin treatment only takes about 30 minutes and I'm awake the whole time.  I don't think I had any side affects from the treatment.  With the holiday's it was hard to tell if I was a little sick to my stomach from everything that has been getting passed around or if it was my treatment.
Thank you for keeping me company Aunt Sue!

Now over the past couple of days I've been thinking more and more about my surgery.  With it being tomorrow morning at 9, I'm not going to lie, I'm a little nervous, scared, anxious and so much more.  I feel like I'm pretty set with help for the first while, and the kids will be at Grandma's and Andy's sisters for the week.  This way, I can concentrate on getting myself better.  Thank you to everyone that has sent me text messages, cards, prayers, and love my way.  I had some great talks with my mentors, and feel they have prepared me well for what is about to come my way.  I'm hoping it will be better than what I'm envisioning.

I'm going to end with a prayer, this way God will hear it a zillion times as everyone else reads this:)

Please God be by my side tomorrow morning.  Help ease the anxiety that I have.  Please be with Andy in the waiting room tomorrow and let him feel your love for us.  Guide the hands and hearts of Dr. Bartos and Dr. Sonderman as they work on taking out what's left of the cancer.  Please let me feel your presence and help give me peace.  Stay by my side as I come out of surgery and have the challenges of new days ahead of me.  Give me the strength to heal, and the courage to stay strong and positive.  Help my children understand what I am going through, and that I love each one of them to pieces.  Amen.

Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 12 of 12

December 2, 2014 Taxol/Herceptin 12 of 12        LAST OF THE TAXOL

What an exciting week, my LAST TAXOL TREATMENT!!!!!!  I didn't have blood work the day before like I usually did, so I was a little nervous they might tell me I couldn't have treatment.  My cousin Rhonda came with me for my treatment.  We had to be there at 11, so of course we stopped and picked up our subs and got ready for a long, but exciting day.

When we got to the clinic I walked in the room to a beautiful bouquet of flowers and balloons.  It was so sweet of Rhonda, I had tears in my eyes.  My usual nurses were at the Waukesha clinic, but Julie who had given me my AC treatments was working and able to give my my last round of the taxol.  Blood work was taken first, and then we waited, and waited for them to say everything was good so we could start all the pre-meds.  Good thing Rhonda and I have so much we can talk about:)  I had to spell my last name and state my birthday a zillion times for each of the medications they gave me.  As soon as the benadryl and lorazapam came it was lights out.  The taxol treatment took 60 minutes.   It took 90 minutes for the herceptin, since I wouldn't be back for another couple of weeks they gave me a bigger dose.

Towards the end of treatment I started waking up again and tried to get my barrings back.  We were now moving into celebration mode.  The nurses have been so wonderful to me and really made things as easy as they could.  They knew exactly what I needed, the order we did things, and were just amazing people.  Rhonda brought in some sparkling grape juice for us to toast with at the end.  The nurses all came in and joined us, and gave me a special certificate saying that I've completed my chemo treatments.  It brought tears to my eyes as I read what the nurses wrote.


Many things were going through my mind with this being the last of my taxol treatments.  First off, did 5 months of my life really just pass by.  Secondly, I made it!  I made it through the chemo treatments.  I'm anxious to be done and wanted to celebrate like crazy, but then I realized I'm only done with phase 1 of my treatment.  I still have 2 more parts left (next stage being surgery).

We got home much later than most of my other treatments.  We stopped and picked up Papa Murphy's for supper.  Andy and the kids were home shortly after that.  The kids had a blast playing with the balloons.  We toasted again at the supper table, the kids loved the sparkling grape juice and the fancy glasses.  Not sure how much Clara actually got in her mouth versus on her clothes.  Those glasses sure spill easily:)

I spent most of my time in the recliner besides for eating supper.  My legs were really, really achy and tired.  Rhonda stayed until the kids were in bed (thank you so much for your help).


Friday we met with the radiologist Dr. Weyers.  She explained what to expect from radiation and all the fun side affects that can occur, like fatigue again.  Except with chemo when you get knocked down I had a little time to recover before the next treatment, with radiation it will be everyday so you don't quite recover.  She said I'll be at my weakest 1-2 weeks after I'm actually done with radiation.  The other joyful side affects are a sore throat and then skin reaction.  Supposedly it will be like getting sunburned over and over, to the point where it could blister.  Right now she guessing we will be starting this sometime in March, and it will last 6 1/2 weeks.

Clara's trying to smell the flowers.  It was really cute.

It felt really crazy not having to go in this past week to get treatment.  It was a good kind of crazy.  My legs still feel tired and achy quite often, but hoping each day it will get better and better.  Now I just need to enjoy the holiday's with my family, try and see some friends, and then get ready for surgery in January.

Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 11 of 12

11/25/2014 Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 11 of 12

This weeks treatment went really well.  My mom came down and spent most of the week with us, which made things much easier.  I'm sure she loved the Meinecke Thanksgiving, nice and loud:)  And we even were able to get out shopping on black Friday, or is it now black Thursday?

 

As the week of Thanksgiving came upon me, there are many things that I have to be thankful for.  First off a big thank you to everyone that has been praying!  They say big things can happen with prayer, and I'm hoping that God is hearing all of us.  Special thank you goes out to my Aunt PK and Uncle Stan who have been making sure that my house is getting cleaned for me each month.  Thanks to everyone that has brought us a meal.  It's been really awesome not having to worry about those things and using my energy with the kids instead.  Thank you to everyone that has given me support and love.  I'm truly blessed to have such awesome friends and family in my life.

For my mom who has been so amazing through all of this.  You are so willing to come down and help anytime that I have needed you.  Thank you for the many hours we've spent talking on the phone, crying, and telling me things are going to be OK.  You have been so strong for me and have helped keep me focused on the things that are important in life.  I pray that I will have many years with my children and be able to give them the same love and support you have shown me.

For my hubby.  You have been my rock for the past 5 months.  Thanks for taking on more of the rolls at home with the kids, getting up with Clara each night so I can sleep, laundry, homework, and so much more.  Thank you for listening, and letting me tell you how scared I've been.  Most importantly thank you for holding me through the rough nights, and letting me cry in your arms.    I love you to the moon and back!

Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 10 of 12

November 18, 2014 Taxol/Herceptin 10 of 12

After the crappy week I had, the thought of going in for another round of treatment was definitely more discouraging.  But things went quite well this past week.  My high school friend Abbey came down to take me to my treatment, which was super nice.  During all the pre-meds we gobbled down our subs and had fun catching up and talking about kids, her kegerator, and life in general.  As soon as they gave me the benedryl and lorazapam it was lights out for me.  I woke up a little bit on the uneasy side, I could've slept for a couple more hours.

We had a little time when we got back to the house before the kiddos came home.  Andy had a basketball game so I was thankful that Abbey stayed and helped get the kids fed, homework done, and ready for bed.  It would've been a hard night by myself without her.

The rest of the week went better than the previous ones.  I've needed to take some of my nausea medicine a little bit more each week because I have felt sick to my stomach a couple of times.  The fatigue is just there, nothing that I can get rid of right now and just have to deal with.  I started to sew some sweater mittens this week.  I was pretty impressed with my sewing ability.  The mittens are made out of wool sweaters, so don't get ride of any wool sweaters.  I'll take them and start my own mitten shop or something:)  Although I will share that I after making my first two pairs of mittens without any problems, I went to make the next two pairs and ended up with 4 right handed ones:)  So maybe the mitten shop isn't such a good idea.

Treatment Taxol/Herceptin 9 of 12

November 11, 2014 Taxol/Herceptin 9 of 12

After the scare over the weekend I was very anxious to meet with my oncologist Dr. Hake on Monday.  Wasn't sure exactly what he was going to say or if he would even have answers.  So I told Dr. Hake what had happened over the weekend, that my chest has been hurting, and the speech problem I had.  He told me he was more concerned about the speech problem and wanted to run a CT scan of my head.  When he was examining me he took a double take at listening to my heart.  "I think I hear a heart murmur.  You didn't have one before?"  Not really sure what all this meant, other than Dr. Hake told me that he was NOT worried, so I shouldn't be.  So they got me in this same day for my CT scan,  and Echocardiography test (ultrasound of my heart) along with a bubble study of the heart.  The good news is the CT scan of my head came back normal, and the Echo test didn't show anything major.  I do have the heart murmur now, but they're not sure if the chemo caused it or some other factor.  I don't know much about heart murmur's other than there are lots of people that have them, and its something that can come and go.  So this will be something they will be monitoring, but treatment will continue on as planned.

My dad came down for my treatment and stayed a couple of days.  Treatment on Tuesday was earlier than normal, so as upsetting as it was we didn't end up getting Subway.  Although come to find out they do serve breakfast food, but the thought of an egg on a sub didn't entice me.  The treatment went well again.  I didn't watch much of Happy Gilmore, but dad was laughing so I don't think he got quite the same nap as me.  We got done with treatment a little after 1, so we went to the Boneyard Pup & Grill and shared some appetizers.  It's always nice to spend some father-daughter time together.  By the time we got back from lunch I had a little time to relax before the the kids got dropped off.  Even though I'm tired, they keep me moving.

The rest of the week I wish would've went better for me.  I really hate to complain, but this stomach cramping, spending time in the bathroom, and fatigue business just plain sucks!!!!  I couldn't even keep Clara home with me on Thursday because I felt so crummy.  Friday night I had ran out to Walmart for just a short period of time and I just didn't feel right.  Now this is less than 5 minutes from our house.  I had to sit down twice in Walmart, felt very uneasy, came home and went to bed by 7:(  I guess the fatigue stage is deciding to stick around for an extra couple of days now.

Saturday, we went up to Brillion and I went out to eat with my girlie's.  Since I still wasn't feeling the greatest we kept it close to home.  So thanks for picking me up, spending time with me, listening and laughing, and just being great friends.  I love you guys!