Update and Pathology report

January 16, 2015

Here is just an update on my recovery from surgery.  I would like to say I was prepared for the amount of pain I was in, but that is an understatement.  I still can't believe how painful it was.  It was like a double edged sword, because of getting nausea's from the pain pills.  I have been sleeping in the recliner now for over 1 1/2 weeks.  The first couple of days after surgery are truly a blur, I slept a lot.  In the beginning I needed help getting dressed, in the bathroom, bathtub, etc.  I needed help getting in and out of the recliner.  I couldn't really reach to grab anything, or lift my arms to much.

Chocolate Covered Strawberries- Yummy!  Thank you Yokes!

On Friday Dr. Bartos called with the pathology report.  During surgery 4 out of the 17 lymph nodes showed cancer in them.  Wasn't sure if that was good or bad, but Andy called the surgeon back on Saturday and asked.  He said that was an OK percentage and they wouldn't have to go back in.  It showed that the chemo did work.  Sometimes tumors just shrink in size, and others react in a different way.  Mine stayed the same length but then shrunk into tiny pieces.  So it still appeared to cover most of my left breast, but looked like pepper flakes.  He said there is no way to tell if any cells got out and into the fatty tissues during surgery, but that's what radiation will be for.  Lastly he said that I did have a cluster of cells that spidered up towards the skin in one area.  This is what really scared me.  I'm thinking I've gone through all of the chemo, now surgery, and WHAT????  I still have cancer left!  Dr. Bartos assured me that they got everything they could with the surgery, and now we will be relying on radiation to take care of the rest.

Friday night, my dad and Grandma Nick came down to visit which was nice, but then we also had the kids at home.  Otherwise, thankfully Andy's family had been taking care of them for the week for us.  I loved seeing the kids, but it also made me sad because I couldn't really do that much with them.  Plus I didn't feel well and just wanted it quite, that doesn't happen with 3 little kids though.  Grandma read a couple bible passages to me and prayed with me.  I cried a lot.

Saturday, as much as I loved my little ones I knew the best thing for me was rest.  So mom took Graysen and Clara back home with her on Saturday until Tuesday night.  Rhonda came over on Sunday to help me while Andy went to work on Monday and Tuesday.  It was nice to have some girl time, I still slept most of it.  Soon we'll have girl time that consists of no whining, but maybe some actual wine would be nice.

Wednesday, we met with the plastic surgeon in the morning.  He said everything looked good and was able to take out 2 of the 4 drain tubes.  They loved the shirt I had to hold the grenades.  He thought when I see the surgeon on Monday 1/19, if the drains are under 30 ML then Dr. Bartos will be able to take out the remaining drain tubes.  Otherwise, for sure on Wednesday 1/21 they will be coming out.  Still not sure when I'm going back in for them to fill the tissue expander's.  Although I told Dr. Sonderman that I was good right now, if I didn't have to go through any more pain.  He said I would need one more fill though.

After we left Dr. Sonderman's office we headed over to my oncology appointment.  We stopped at Walmart to pick up my new pain pills and grab subway for my Herceptin treatment.  When we walked in for my oncology appointment, the receptionist asked where my pretty smile was.  Well, needless to say that's all it took and I broke out in tears.  (I was having an emotional day.)  One of the nurses brought me back and we talked for awhile, both of us were crying.  I think I had 6 nurses stop in and give me a hug while I was there.  My blood counts were great and the treatment went just fine.  I tried napping because I was so tired, but didn't get much of one till I got home.  Dr. Hake came in to see me and talked with me about the pathology report.  He was very pleased with everything.  He reassured me that we still have tools we are using to fight the cancer cells.  We have the Herceptin treatments every 3 weeks, I start a pill Tamoxifin that blocks the actions of estrogen and is used to treat and prevent the type of breast cancer cells I have, and soon I'll be starting Radiation.  After talking with him I did feel much better.

I have been feeling better each and everyday.  I'm still numb under my left arm from my armpit to my elbow, but have been moving my arm more and more.  I had my walker helping me along today, Miss Clara.  I was also able to play lots of games with Graysen and Clara today.  It made me feel like mom again, even though I'm not quite able to snuggle them like I want it felt so good to spend some time with them.

I truly would not have made it through the past week without the help of so many people.  Thank you so much for the meals, help with the kids, help with me, and all of you who have been praying and sending me thoughts of encouragement.  On the path I walk in our house, I read the following passages that people have sent me.

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." - Philippians 4.13

"This is my command - be strong and courageous!  Do not be afraid or discouraged.  For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1.9xz